Thursday, May 28, 2009

Seriously, what's the deal with moe?


Frequent readers of my blog would be well acquainted with my unbridled hatred of moe. In fact, I have written several posts on how I believe we can best combat this phenomenon known as moe. However, those posts have generally been snarky and less then serious. This time however, I must ask with utmost sobriety; exactly what the fuck is so goddamned fucking appealing about moe???

Before the inevitable rant, I figured I'd introduce some context to this post; lately, I've been trying to get into Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu. And whilst the anime has been generally enjoyable, I just can't get over how incredibly moe the titular main character, Haruka is. And it pisses the shits out of me!

For every joke or amusing anime reference Nogizaku Haruka throws at me (the GaoGaiGar and Shana ones in ep 4 being particularly funny), I must subsequently endure Haruka's annoying moe tendencies such as her crippling shyness or her airheadedness. Please tell me, why the fuck do people find social or mental retardation appealing?

And this is not just Haruka, pretty much every goddamned moe character have traits that if a person possessed in real life, would compel me to punch them.

What the fuck is appealing about clumsiness? What the fuck is appealing about stupidity?? What the fuck is appealing about incompetence??? WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERY GODDAMNED ANIME FEEL THE NEED TO PUT A FUCKING MOE CHARACTER IN THE CAST!?

Now I know I sound angry, and trust me, I am; I am sick to fucking death with having good shows spoiled for me simply because I can no longer suppress my gag reflex everytime the goddamned moeblob pops on the screen. Nogizaka Haruka for one, will forever languish in the depths of my harddrive as the main character simply disgusts me too much.

Nonetheless, I must ask this most pertinent of questions; what is it about moe that is so fucking appealing? I make it no secret that I hold nothing but contempt for it, but I still want to know why other people like it. I will probably never agree with them, but at least I might come out with some understanding of how people could love that which I loathe most.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch some porn; rather then making me what to kill someone, the women in those merely make me want to masturbate.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My Anime Harem

Generally, I'm not a fan of harem anime; I find them to be sexist, wish fulfillment fantasy. Also, the girls I like never win.

That said however, whilst I don't like harem animes, I am quite fine with the double standard of enjoying the company of a harem of cute anime girls myself, so without further ado, my anime harem:

Takaya Noriko
The 'main girl', Noriko is pretty much the grandmommy of female super robot pilots. Takes hot blooded yelling to such ridiculous extremes that even relatively silly attacks such as shooting missiles out of your fingers or hitting a baseball at an enemy seem awesome.


She also has a tendency to rip her shirt off, which is definitely a bonus.

Katina Tarask
The 'rival' to the main girl. Katina is another crazy hotblooded mech pilot who essentially has only a single emotion; anger. Given how hotblooded both she and Noriko are, it was a tough pick choosing between them; but let's face facts, Noriko's Gunbuster kicks the living shits out of Katina's Gespenst.

Awesome woman was let down by a less then awesome mech.

The mature, oneesan character; Viola possesses darker, more contemplative qualities to contrast her more hotblooded and genki counterparts. Also she can be revived as an A.I should she ever get killed, which I guess can be pretty handy.

Who cares if she can't get pregnant? She's got a giant robot!

Ibis Douglas
The token flatchested girl. Hides behind a quiet and contemplative facade, but is actually just as hotblooded as Noriko and Katina; just watch her let loose on a missile massacre or a Gespenst kick!

One day, you too shall have a rack. Believe in me, who believes in your tits!

Nakajima Subaru
The more observant of you will notice that there's something...different about Subaru. I speak of course about the fact that she does not pilot a giant robot. That said however, I'm pretty sure we could borrow GaoGaiGar for her; GAR though he may be, Gai knows it ain't a good idea to fuck around when Gunbuster, Gespenst, Nephtis and Hyperion all rock up on your doorstep asking for stuff.


Friday, May 15, 2009

Sengoku Basara - First Impressions

Conclusively proving that the effeminate gay stereotype has no grounding in reality, Sengoku Basara is both the manliest thing I've seen since Gurren Lagann, as well as the gayest thing I've seen...since that time in Akihabara when I bought a yoai porn manga in the mistaken belief that the two feminine characters on the cover were actually women...


So what exactly is Sengoku Basara? It's about the Warring States period in Japan. On crack. Massive amounts of crack. And gay overtones. But mostly crack. Gay crack.

Why do the soldiers even try?

The show is unashamedly over the top; whilst some drama does exist, it's mainly an excuse to watch cool characters do really batshit insane stuff. Physics is optional in the world of Sengoku Basara, as is historical accuracy.

Noble warriors of the 16th century.

And while it's a little hard to describe the gay undertones, trust me. It's there.

Even the grunts are gay.


So a bunch of crazyass warlords with magical powers want to rule the land, and therefore fight endless battles with each other, much to the chagrin of their soldiers, who get killed in the hundreds everytime a plot important dude takes a step, let alone swing his weapon.

Obviously a battle between evenly matched adversaries.

Anyways, amidst all the fighting and manloving, Oda Nobunaga, the granddaddy of all evil bad dudes begins amassing his armies, slaughtering generic townspeople the world over. Apparently, whilst it's ok to indiscriminately kill thousands of peons per battle, it's a mortal sin to burn down defenseless villages, so most of the other warlords form a temporary alliance to oppose Nobunaga and his peasant burning.

Once you see this man's ride, you'll understand why he's so happy.

So yeah, that's about it really. Mainly, this show is about crazy cool shit happening, and that's all it needs.


Sanada Yukimura
One of the two main characters, serves the warlord Takeda Shingen with fanatical loyalty/lust. Has a habit of getting punched in the face by Shingen. Harbors a similar mancrush/rivalry with Date Masamune. 7.5/10 on the gay scale.

You want phallic imagery? How bout two long, hard spears!?

Masamune Date
The other main character. An cocky warlord called the One Eyed Dragon, who wields six katanas simultaneously and rides a Harley Davidson horse. Immeasurably cool and leads an army of rejects from Cromartie High School. Speaks in Engrish. 9/10 on the gayness scale, also a textbook seme.

Are you ready guys!? Put the guns on!

The Elvis cut was all the rage in 1580.

Date's my favourite character. Can you guess why?

Takeda Shingen
A cunning and powerful warlord known as the Tiger of Kai. The constant recipient of Yukimura's mancrush. Has a habit of punching people in the face, particularly Yukimura. Stands on two horses when riding into battle. 7/10 on the gayness scale.


Shingen dickslaps physics.

This picture pretty much encapsulate Shingen's relationship with everyone.

Uesugi Kenshin
Exceptionally effeminate warlord and rival of Shingen. Known as the Dragon of Echigo. Skills include sword fighting, impeccable fashion sense, and the ability to make Kasuga orgasm on demand. Probably the only straight man in the entire series.

He's also voiced by a woman, thus adding to his manliness.

The only female character in the show (Oichi's there too, but no one cares about her). A ninja who is helplessly aroused by Kenshin. Seemingly straight, but she's probably under the mistaken impression that Kenshin is a woman, thereby proving she's a lesbian, or at least bi.

I do wonder how many times she has to change her pants per day.

Goddammit woman! Get a hold over your libido!

Sarutobi Sasuke
A ninja in the service of Yukimura. Has a friendly rivalry with Kasuga. Generally plays the straight man. Tries to tell people that he's straight by constantly hitting on women, but we know he's faking. 8/10 on the gayness scale.

Jeez, I'm getting serious Naruto vibes from this guy.

Katakura Kojuro
A calm and levelheaded retainer of Date's. The uke to Date's seme. 8.5/10 on the gayness scale.

It's kinda sad when the background characters look cooler then you.

Maeda Keiji
Scion of the Maeda clan, who are allied to Nobunaga. However, he simply travels the world as a wanderer. Not particularly gay, though he did get awful friendly with Kenshin once (prompting much hostility from Kasuga). 4.5/10 on the gayness scale.

Normally I'd say Kasuga would be overreacting, but given the context of the show, her resulting antagonism was probably justified.

I have strong suspicions that the monkey is also gay.

Tokugawa Ieyasu
The patient and honorable lord of Mikawa. Despite his friendship and admiration of Shingen, he is allied to Nobunaga. Commands the mighty warrior, Honda Tadakatsu. Also has a sexy midriff. 6.5/10 on the gayness scale.

Ieyasu, in the arms of another man.

Tadakatsu Honda

Listen Honda! Your drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens!

He'll be back.

Azai Nagamasa
A JUSTICE obsessed warlord and brother in law to Nobunaga. Is happily married to Oichi, so he might not actually be gay. But then again, his wife has all the personality of a log, and they've got less chemistry then those two kids from Twilight, so it might just be for show.

Fear his bangs of JUSTICE!


(Insert something interesting here)

(Insert caption here)

Oda Nobunaga
The big bad dude. Want's to, "spread milatarism," across the land for vaguely defined reasons. Sits on a thrown of skulls. Is followed everywhere he goes by his evil posse and latin chanters. Like Nagamasa, he's married, but doesn't really care about his wife.

Did you know? He's the badguy.

We just want to make sure you know that these are the antagonist.

Akechi Mitsuhide
Evil, effiminate right hand man to Nobunaga. Actually doesn't seem that gay, but given his status as the show's white haired pretty boy, he'll invariable wind up in yoai doujins the world over.

Spikes. Because all evil people wear spikes.

Sengoku Basara is produced by the lovely people of Production I.G, who were behind Ghost in the Shell S.A.C and that anime scene in Kill Bill. Unsuprisingly, Sengoku's animation is very, very good.

Production I.G utilises a lot of CG, particularly for when animating large numbers of soldiers, but do it in a way that is far subtler then the CG work of studios such as Gonzo, whose CG often contrasts horribly with the hand drawn characters.

Also, in keeping with the over the top atmosphere of the anime, the animation often takes stylistic bents, such as dark, jagged lines and other cool effects.

Just incase you didn't know; they're rivals.

I am honestly kicking myself over not watching this sooner. After watching but a few episodes, Sengoku Basara has already overtaken Mazinger Z and Shangri-La as my favourite anime this season, and it looks like it's going to go strong all the way to the end.

By the time you see this scene, it really doesn't come as a surprise.

The sheer manliness is insane! It's basically a show with an entire cast of Kaminas! And the action is as creative as it is irreverent to the most basic rules of physics and even common sense.

I so fucking want to be Shingen.

And I know I do spend quite some time making fun of how gay the show is, but really, it is incredibly gay. I personally find it good fun, but the homophobic may find the overtones a little overbearing. Yaoi fans however, will find plenty of top grade masturbation material.

The best part is that Shingen does this immediately after lecturing Yukimura on the preciousness of life.

In conclusion, WATCH THIS SHIT! It's unapologetically the craziest, manliest and gayest thing on TV, and is unlikely to be surpassed for quite some time.

Huh? Women exist in this show??

Shingen punch!

Sunday, May 10, 2009


WARNING: Massive SPOILERS for Evangelion, Gurren Lagann, Gunbuster and Diebuster! Proceed at your own risk!


Tuesday, May 5, 2009

So who is this asshole behind Taikutsu Remedy?

So I was reading Phossil's recent autobiographical post about himself, and I figured I'd follow suit and write up a post about me. I do this for two reasons. Firstly, the profile feature on blogspot sucks. And more importantly, I get off over talking incessantly about myself.

So here we go!

A Short History of Me
My name is Seb, and I live in Sydney. I've been into anime for an assload of time, though on a rather on/off basis. My first anime was UFO Robo Grendizer, which I suspect, gives me mad old school brownie points.

Brownie points.

Sadly however, Grendizer would not be followed by any other titles for quite a few years. It was only during my primary school years, during the height of the Pokemon craze, that I would watch anime again.

And somewhat unsurprisingly, it would be some time more before I saw any other titles. Nonetheless, with the advent of cable TV which came about during my early high school days, I was introduced to shows such as Sakura Taisen, You're Under Arrest, and a show whose name I've forgotten, about a school that transformed into a giant robot. This was the period in which my anime fandom would begin in earnest.

Over the years, a considerable number of titles such as Ghost in the Shell, .Hack//Sign, Excel Saga, Noir and others. However, anime hit another lull in my life as I spent my later high school years in a traditional boarding school, where internet access was severely limited, and where no dvd stores were in any reasonable distance. It was during this time that my interest in anime essentially dwindled to nonexistence.

My favourite .Hack//Sign character, Silver Knight. Mainly because he was a douchebag.

Fast forward to last September 2008, where my friends Seth, Gabby, Bridget and James invited me to attend the 2008 Sydney Animania with them. Now despite having zero interest in anime by this point, I decided that I may as well go along with the ride.

Me at Sydney Animania 08. Earning my title of World's Most Dedicated Cosplayer. (Note the sexy Kamina in the background)

Long story short; Animania was fucking awesome and reignited all the love of anime that I probably had bottled up inside me over the years.

Since then, I've watched a metric assload of anime both old and new, with standouts including Gurren Lagann, Ouran High School Host Club, Re: Cutey Honey, Dancouga Nova, Martian Succersor Nadesico, Bamboo Blade and many, many more.

Dancouga Nova featured a giant robot piloted by a crazy hotblooded chick, what more could I ask for?

And that brings us to this blog. It was after Animania that I started viewing anime blogs round the blogosphere. During this time, I came to a certain realization; that the blogs out there were missing a certain...something. And that something, was sarcasm, hatred, and self loathing. Which is what Taikutsu Remedy aims to offer it's readers.

So What am I Like?

Two words best describe me; arrogant, and asshole. Also, people who know me in real life will attest to the fact that I take great pleasure in reminding people of my genius level IQ of 180.

If I was an anime character, I'd be this guy. Except with a better haircut. And a better obsession then card games. Possibly bukkake porn.

My natural state is anger, and I do not exaggerate when I say I am driven by hate. Almost everything I do is motivated by hatred of something. For instance, as a university student, I push myself to study hard not because I want to do as well as I can do, but because I hate the thought of people dumber then me getting better marks then me.

Also, I swear a lot. Moreso in real life then in my blog. Generally, if I swear at you, it means I like you. Or at least don't hate you. As a general rule, I call all my female friends 'bitch', and all my male friends, 'slut'.

Aside from that, I am also a strong supporter of equal gender rights. I describe myself as both a feminist, and one who supports men's rights as well (apparently the term is Masculinist, but I refuse to call myself that until the term is rebranded with a cooler name. Might I suggest, 'Asskicker').

I also tend to support other socially liberal causes, ranging from more conventional ones such as gay marriage, to the more controversial such as the legalization of incestuous marriage and sexual intercourse between consenting adults.

And this seems to come as a surprise to most people, but I am a practising Catholic (most people assume that I'm an Atheist or Agnostic, which to be fair, I was for some time). My personal philosophy is that if God is the omnipotent, omniscient creator of everything, s/he/it probably has better things to do then stress about what kind of holes I put my dick into.

Should I ever lose my belief in God, I would be quite happy to believe in this MAN. It would, after all, be reciprocal.

Anime That Gets Me Hard

In no particular order, here are my five favourite animes:
  • Gurren Lagann
  • Dancouga Nova
  • Excel Saga
  • Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
  • GaoGaiGar
There is a slight pattern that binds my favourites together. But it's a rather subtle connection, and I suspect that only the most observant of you would notice it. (Hint: it involves giant fucking robots. You could say, SUPER robots)

A hotblooded giant robot of a MAN.

Manga That Gets Me Hard

Again in no particular order:
  • Suikoden III
  • Sgt. Frog
  • Immortal Rain
  • Genshiken
  • Yozakura Quartet
  • Yotsubato!
Anime Related Likes and Dislikes

I am an ardent lover of three things; porn, super robots and english dubs.

I adamantly defend the English dubbing industry and greatly respect the oftentimes excellent work that they do.

Similarly, I greatly admire the porn industry, and the excellent work that they do. However, I realize the ethically questionable nature of pornography and do keep that in mind. Generally however, I have no problem as long as all involved are doing it of their own free will, and are not being taken advantage of.

As for super robots, c'mon! They're giant fucking robots with crazy ass powers! What's not to like!?

Now as for things I dislike; certain subsets of the sub favouring fan community, moe and those stupid shy girls who keep popping up in anime.

One of the easiest ways to piss me off and earn my ire is to suggest that true anime fans only watch subs, whereas it's only anime newbs who prefer dubs. Seriously, aside from being a fucking retarded opinion with about as much merit as a steaming pile of horseshit, it also makes you look like an elitist dickweed; another subset of people who need to be kicked in the face.

The guy on the receiving end of this tried to claim that English dubbing was inherently inferior.

And yes, I am an ardent hater of moe. Honestly, I don't understand as to how that shit appeals to people. I find it at best, stupid and cheesy, and at worst, just fucking sexist.

A specific subset of moe that I hate are what's known as Yamato Nadeshiko; the ideal Japanese woman. Apparently in Japan, the ideal woman is a fucking footstool with all the drive and ambition of a worker ant whose sole duty in life is to look pretty and cook good tasting shit for her husband. I'm sorry, cultural sensitivity can go fuck itself at this point; this is nothing but fucking chauvinism.

So let's get this straight; Shizuka is like fucking five times smarter then Nobita. So after they get married...she becomes a housewife, and Nobita the sole breadwinner. What the fuck? What the bleeding, mind bending fuck?

My Ideal Anime Woman

Now I've always been a fan of action girls, and anime is chuckfull with kickass warrior women such as Elle Ragu, Subaru Nakajima and Matoko Kusanagi.

But if I ever had to pick one lady of anime to declare my undying love to, it would be Katina Tarask of Super Robot Wars. For one thing, she and I share very similar personalities; we only have two moods, angry, and very angry.

Also, she's everything I would want in a woman; hot blooded and piloting a giant robot.

What more could I possibly want?

So yeah, this is me in a nutshell. If anyone would ever want to meet me in real life (I can't imagine why), chances are good that you'll see me round whatever anime conventions are happening round Sydney.

As an aside, if I ever were to have a theme song to my life, it would be this: