Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Persona 3 Portable is a piece of shit


Tears over what could have been...

(Beware! Here there be spoilers!)

It is with great sadness and regret that I must utter the following words; I hate Persona 3 Portable.

P3 was one of the greatest RPGs I had ever played, and naturally I assumed that its portable remake would do justice to the game that essentially introduced the Persona series to everyone but the one guy who had even heard of Personas 1 and 2 before 3's release.

However, that was not to be the case.

P3Portable, whilst generally a faithful adaptation of P3, was to feature one significant difference from it's predecessor; the ability to play as the female protagonist.

Naturally this excited me greatly, for in my naivete, I had assumed that by being able to play a girl, I could finally vicariously act out my humongous mancrush on Junpei Iori (the greatest video game character ever conceived) by choosing to pursue a romantic S-Link with him.

However, all my hopes -along with any desire to play P3P- were dashed when I found out that Junpei would not be a romantic option, as it would interrupt the storyline with his girlfriend, Chidori.

Well screw that bitch! It's not like she even alive, let alone still with him by the game's end!

Despite my protestations, Atlus has foolishly decided to deny players the option to romance Junpei, and in doing so, have destroyed any reason for anybody to even touch this stupid game.

Yet, there is consolation to be had, no matter how fleeting. Below are some illustrations of what this game would be like had I been in charge of the S-Links. As you can see, it would have been a much better game, perhaps even perfect. Sadly, it was not to be. But we can still dream my friends, we can dream.


34 comments:

  1. Junbro's inevitably attached to Chidori. At least that kinda explains the whole change in his Persona after that certain scene.

    Besides, with the Female MC, you can choose to either snag probably the most desirable bachelor in Gekkoukan (Akihiko), ignite a shotacon relationship (Ken) or best of all, prevent Shinjiro's supposed death. Although... he doesn't really have much to live anyway...

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  2. I know jackshit about Persona but thats the sexiest Sticknmen sex ive ever seen

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  3. @Blowfish, aye, that's definitely the case

    @Snark, I never played P3 but I know that feeling!

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  4. Im getting it, I always wanted to hit on Aegis, ever since I saw the damn game. Still P4 Im waiting...~Naoto~

    Sadly no H mangaka's even thought about your dilemma...

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  5. lol, I don't know much about Persona either, but that's an amusing stickman drawing

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  6. It's all about P4 for me. Chie, Chie, CHIE <3! Kung-FU, biatches.
    And the plot is enthralling right away.
    Also, the protagonist is adequately fabulous, not as if that's a selling point, I'm just saying.

    I get you though, games that cockblock people are just sadism on the devs parts.

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  7. Never played the game. Never heard of the game. But that comic was sexy funny. You should make a comic for every post.

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  8. Holy effin' crack, your stickmen pictures are highly amusing! I give you prompts in being able to admit your adoration for Junpei Iori. As a character, he was really lovable and amusing to have on your adventure, so I'm disappointed that you can't charm the pants off of him.

    I completely LOL'ed to the Shinji's death panel because it was hilarious.

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  9. This post seriously made my day :) your dedication to Junpei is admirable. I liked Junpei a lot too, although not as much as you. I liked his battle cry during a combo and kept him in my party at all times possible. But now (to me) you own Junpei more than anyone else in the world, so I'll keep my intentions with him purely on the friendship level.

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  10. I chose the male MC, Yukari here I come~ *still at the early stage of P3P*

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  11. Heroman can be summed up by its name - I watched it - I want to see him fight some cool cockroach men !

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  12. ........I honestly facedesked reading this.

    So you call a game a piece of shit because of one thing? I honestly don't really care about Junpei too much(koromaru is much more awesome by the way) but still, over one thing and thats not actually a really huge thing either. But hey, guess what? You can date Ryoji. Who is 90x more awesome then Junpei for obvious reasons.

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  13. Hey, I feel the same as you! Do you know that there is actually Junpei ending in the game, but you just can't access it.
    Dammit fuck that Chidori bitch.

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  14. gothic lolitas haha

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  15. I lold...and I lold hard XD

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  16. pffff...sorry to bring such a old post back...i just saw it lol and can't sit still O___o I honestly can't believe someone thinks of this game that way JUST because of Stupei x___x In that case I should have quit playing when Shinji died and never play it again coz MC dies in the end...seriously,it's stupid

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  17. totally true. I feel the same as you. Fuck Chidori BWUAA. I felt kinda happy that she died in the end- yes, might be cruel, but hey, can't help it- But even though she died, she died SAVING Junpei, and she said 'I love you' to him. Frickin' shiitt. So... I still hate her and the fact that Atlus won't let us date Junpei.

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  18. Nice Stickman Drawing. Shinji was like your the reason i'm dying right now and FC and Junpei was like... *.*

    I'm not that attached to Junpei but I'm a big P3 fan. Played it four times and I still can't get enough. But a Lover's route with Junpei wouldn't be so bad since Junpei X Chidori is like... blehh

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  19. Chidori was just a plot device for Junpei to get Trismegistus. And even THEN, you still cannot date Junpei.

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  20. I completely LOL'ed to the Shinji's death panel because it was hilarious.


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    would have to think much, will be able to pass ... like the game, just focus on the main road, then that end will soon come! But ... Junsu ah ... you're wrong. Lousy.

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  29. Yup! of all persona 3, portable one is the worst! Because of this Female protagobitch.
    The reason: Some other annoying, insane fans made me hate her, or so called Minako 'bitch' Arisato. Though, i haven't played the game yet and I didn't meant to go search for DOUJINS about it in tumblr. After I've seen enough, this game was out of my plans for christmas 2012.

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  32. Screw Akihiko and those other guys! Personally, I wanted the FemMC to date Junpei. I felt he was perfect with the FemMC because it pretty much shows a relationship with acting as best friends instead of, you know, romance in that shoujo manga stuff and etc. I know he would have someone else but come on. It could have been platonic. I know many people are saying, "Why the heck would you want her to date Junpei?" or "Wow. Did think that people would want to date him". I liked his character. He was amazing. Funny, handsome, and the way they had him in the story line was wonderful. Yeah, he was a pervert but he had his morals and limits. He's a good guy.

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