Re: Cutie Honey Review

Before we get started, I need to make something clear. I am not one of those anime fans who compulsively watches all the latest anime of the season whilst reviewing them as the series progresses. I pick and choose whatever interests me, regardless of how new or old it is. Therefore, you will most likely see reviews of some very recent stuff, along with some older titles that everyone in the world has already seen.

Anyway, on to the review. Re: Cutie Honey is a three episode OVA produced by Gainax, and headed by Hideaki Anno, the bastard responsible for a giant robot anime so laced with mindfuck, it would have been less painful to have a man literally trust his throbbing penis repeatedly up your cranium.

Thankfully, Re: Cutie Honey is free of strange blue haired albino girls and whiny little bitches who stare at ceilings. Instead, we're treated to three 45 minute episodes of glorious and utterly unashamed camp. Also, whilst there is no full blown hentai, expect a lot of nudity.

Chibis generally don't make very effective policemen.

The story of Re: Cutie Honey follows the same general plotline of the 2004 live action movie. If you don't know the story however, let's just say its a little on the light side. Basically, Honey is a robot who dresses like a slut who was built by her scientist father as a replacement after his biological daughter (presumably also a slut) died in a horrific car accident.

Anyway, instead of boring you with further details, lets just say theres an evil organization (most of whom dress like sluts too) that wants Honey for some evil reason, and they go round doing evil stuff and Honey has to stop them...whilst losing what little clothes she wore in the first place.

She was built to resemble her father's dead daughter. I don't know which part of that sentence is creepiest.

The characters in Re: Cutie Honey generally follow fairly basic achtypes that never really challenge the viewer. Nevertheless, they are well presented and fairly likeble. Some of the more important ones are:

Honey: The main character, works as an office lady in civilian life. A ditz and a slut (well, more of she dresses like one). A slutty (in dress) ditz.

Natsuko: A serious no-nonsense policewoman who initially acts as the foil to Honey, but eventually becomes her close friend. Might be a lesbian. Closet slut.

Hayami: Guy who claims to be a journalist. Helps Honey and Natsuko, but whilst obviously keeping secrets from them. Has a hat fetish.

Sister Jill: The big bad. Wants Honey for reasons revealed over the course of the series. Also dresses like a slut.

Gold/Cobalt/Scarlet/Black Claw: Jill's four henchmen. They're not all that important.

Balls Man: Appears in episode 1. Has balls.

Penis Man: Appears in episode 1. Has a penis.

As an interesting note, all three episodes of Re: Cutie Honey are directed by a different individual, with Anno being a grand oversear of soughts who directs the overall feel of the series. The contrasting styles of the different directors are painfully obvious, and the change may either be a good or a bad thing, depending on your individual tastes. One thing for certain however, is that it'll definitely be noticed.

Now for some context to this picture; Gold Claw has just shot her breast missiles (they are exactly what you think) which have just hit Honey's presumebly firmer breast. The missiles then bounce off. Yeah...somewhere in the world, some kid is jerking off to that.

Episode 1 is my personal favourite and was directed by Hiroyuki Imaishi, the man responsible for FLCL and Gurren Lagann, and who in some circles, is worshiped as the second coming of Jesus. As should be expected of Imaishi, the animation of ep 1 is both of the highest quality, and in my opinion, the most distinctive of the three. Favouring the use of strong, neon colours, and stylistic representations, ep 1 harkens back to the glory days of old 70s and 80s anime. I was watching a couple of episodes of the original Cutie Honey series, and they seemed like clear predescessors to ep 1. If you only watch one episode from this series, let it be this.

Natsuko's solo run against some random mooks is one of the high points of episode 1

Episode 2 is in my opinion, where Gainax dropped the ball. Directed by Takamichi Ito, a man whose only other directorial work was an anime adaption of Kanon, a porn game, this episode seems like a far more by the numbers piece as compared to the far more inspired episode 1. Not that its bad persay. Taken on its own merits, its a solid piece of animation, however, it fails to live up to the high standards of episodes 1 and 3.

Where the fuck did her nipples go???

The final episode is sadly a mixed bag for me. The animation is a high adrenelin affair with long ass Clamp-esque limbs, and sharply angular action scenes. Honey's fight against an one of the named enemies, and Natsuko's run up a giant creature, were definite highlights which showcased Masayuki's mastery of action scenes. What saddens me though, is the fact this episode is the heaviest on story, with the least amount of screentime dedicated to action. Personally, I would have preferred he directed episode 2, and have Ito direct this one.

Episode 3 fights rule

Summing up, Re: Cutie Honey is camp, mindless, and more then a little ecchi. And it doesn't try to hide it, in fact, it revels in it. Your enjoyment of the series is likely to be directly proportional to how much well animated cheesiness you can stand. If you're one of those angsty little bastards who insist that real art is angsty, then do yourself a favour and burn all copies of Re: Cutie Honey in a 10 metre radius. However, if you're some suger high kid with ADD who has a hard on for fun over story and brightly coloured animation, then...you would probably already have watched this. Though if you haven't, then do it now! Also, stay the hell away from me.
Anime