Friday, November 6, 2009

Critical Eye - Sexy Sailor Soldier



Looking back at the past year, I must profess that Taikutsu Remedy has succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. It is by no means a particularly popular or well known blog, but it still manages much more hits and comments then I would have expected when I first started writing.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Happy though I am however, this is not enough. For you see, I am a whore of the highest order, and a whore always wants more.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Now one thing I've noticed, is that blogs that engage in the intelligent critiquing of anime have been very popular recently. However, I have never written such articles on this blog before, and fans of such have thus remained to me, an untapped market. Nevertheless, as any good whore will tell you, we're willing to do anything for the right price.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
And so with that in mind, I'd like to introduce you to Taikutsu Remedy's newest segment, Critical Eye. Where I, Snark, shall put on my thinking cap and take you on an intellectual, eye opening journey through the infinite complexity of anime!
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
However, as I've mentioned in the past, I am not predisposed to critically analysing anime. In fact, I find the practice rather boring. It was with this in mind, that I realized there was a way to overcome this problem, as well as carving a new niche for myself. And so, I shall bring my full academic prowess into the study of that which I love most. I speak of course, of pornography.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
And so, without further ado, I present to you, Sexy Sailor Soldiers - A Critical Eye.



Sexy Sailor Soldiers is the story of Nami, a big titted waitress who comes across an injured, barely dressed woman, who hands her a mysterious pendent and tells her to, "take her place". From there, Nami awakens to the power of the Sexy Sailor Soldiers, a group of big breasted, scantily clad women, who fight evil demon rapists with the power of boobs.



On the surface, Sexy Sailor Soldiers appears to be an unsophisticated, pornographic take on the sentai genre. A mere excuse to have busty women in colourful uniforms get raped by an assortment of tentacle demons.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
It is only upon deeper analysis that one comes to the realization that Sexy Sailor Soldiers is in fact a metaphor of the tragic existence of the foot soldiers of Japanese capitalism - the salaryman.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Those who have been to Japan or are versed in modern Japanese life will be very familiar with the concept of the salaryman - a veritable army of faceless, anonymous, uniformed soldiers, armed with briefcases and clothed in black and gray suits.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
When Mani transforms into a Sexy Sailor Soldier, her clothes disappear as she dons her Sexy Sailor uniform. And so, like the salaryman who must forsake his individuality for his work outfit, she too must do the same. It is through the uniform that she discards her identity as Mina, and assumes the identity of a Sexy Sailor Soldier.



With that idea in mind, it becomes apparent that Mina's tits are a visual metaphor for individuality. In the beginning of the film, Mina is a new worker at a maid cafe. When the audience is first introduced to her, she is having trouble fitting her huge boobs into her work uniform.




This I believe, is symbolic of Mina's inability to suppress her true self, and to assume the identity of the maid waitress. And in so doing, so draws a comparison to the young, inexperienced salaryman, who lacks the maturity to suppress his individuality and assume the role of the faceless, anonymous, office worker.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
The metaphor continues as Mina stumbles through the cafe, obviously uncomfortable and awkward in her new work clothes. Ultimately, her inability to suppress her individuality during work is manifest by her boobs proving too big for the constraints of her uniform, and bursting out in full view of the customers. Amidst the shock of her tits bouncing around in full view, she further fails in her duty as the dessert she was carrying flies out of her hand.




Thankfully, some measure of disaster is adverted as another, more experienced waitress, Chisato, manages to catch the flying dessert and save it from spilling.



Like Mina, Chisato's incredibly large tits seem far too big for the tight maid outfit. However, unlike her more inexperienced co-worker, Chisato still manages to keep them from bursting out of her uniform. In so doing, she creates a parallel with more older, more experienced, salarymen, who have learnt to suppress themselves and embrace their anonymous existence.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
After Mina's embarrassing debacle, the film skips to some time after work. As Mina walks home, she encounters a wounded Sexy Sailor Soldier, who gives Mina a pendent before disappearing. Eventually, Mina discovers that this pendent allows her to transform into a Sexy Sailor Soldier, giving her the power to fight the evil demon rapists who presumably infest the city.



Before we progress, I'd like to draw attention to the nameless, wounded Sailor, as I believe she is a vital pillar in the metaphor of the Japanese salaryman. She tells Mina to "take her place" before simply vanishing from existence. This, I believe, is a commentary on the expandable nature of the salaryman.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
It is important to note that she has no name, history or defining feature. Her entire existence is defined solely by her being a Sexy Sailor Soldier. The moment she gives her pendent to Mina, she stops being a Sexy Sailor Soldier, and thus becomes Nothing.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Similarly, once Mina becomes a Sexy Sailor Soldier, she becomes the woman before her, with the very same powers and abilities. Skill, experience and history are superfluous; in the world of Sexy Sailor Soldier, Mina and the previous Sailor are interchangeable.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
This expandability of the Sailors is draws obvious comparison to the reality of life as a salaryman. Names, skills, personality and history are meaningless. Before Corporate Japan, all salarymen are mere numbers. One salaryman is equal to the other in every way.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
The finale of the film comes as Mina and Chisato are attacked and subsequently raped by demons. At this point, an interesting contrast becomes apparent.



On one hand, they are being sexually assaulted, they fight and protest as they are being pounded by meaty, demon dick. However, it is at this point where the film reveals the ultimate dichotomy of the Sailor Soldiers; it is the demon rape that defines them as Sexy Sailor Soldiers.



Whilst they have magic powers and revealing outfits, neither of these two provide them with a real purpose and identity. It is only by fighting and getting raped by demons that the true purpose of the Sexy Sailor Soldiers is manifest.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
And so, it is thus that the tragedy of their existence is brought to light. They protest and fight against the demon rapist, yet it is the demon rapists who give them their own identity as Sexy Sailor Soldiers. And this is where the film presents its central thesis as a commentary on the Japanese salaryman; much like the Sailor Soldiers, the Japanese salaryman is defined by that which he hates most.



In exchange for giving up their individuality and performing menial tasks, the salaryman is given a given a wage so that he may continue living. And so he does what he hates so that he may continue to exist. Similarly, the Sexy Sailor Soldiers must continue to fight and get raped, for without rape, they are not Sexy Sailor Soldiers. And if they are not Sexy Sailor Soldiers, they are nothing.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Without menial work, there is no salaryman. Without demon rape, there is no Sexy Sailor Soldier.


27 comments:

  1. *adjusts glasses* What an interesting view into the world of pornography, or should I say erotica, becuase porn is for uneducated hobos.

    I wish I could come up with some clever banter or something but this review just made me wish the days when I watched a lot of hentai. Man, I'm so roping my friends into watching it with me again. I miss porn Tuesdays. Also, is it sad that I remember this one in particular?

    OOH OOH! Do Milk Money next!

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  2. Ow, man. Your equalization for sexy soldiers and salarmen are bull's eye.
    What a sad reality. ROFL

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  3. You sir have a talent for BS. I will never look at porn the same way again.

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  4. Id vote for Lingerie Senshi Papillion next simply because I wanna read you analogy for getting a blowjob by a cat.

    I think you just discovered that porn is the most subversive society critical medium there is.I think I have to reeducate myself with som porn now...

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  5. I knew that porn had deeper meaning.

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  6. I now wonder what goes on in your head everyday.

    And Yes Sir, I would like a piece of that action. Lol!

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  7. Is Japan's declining birth rate somehow connected to the demon rapists' inability to impregnate the Sexy Sailor Soldiers?

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  8. Once again I will refer to whole yin and yang philosophy, for every time I watch porn or some s#it

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  9. Nice parody. Seriously though, there seems to be a lot more analytical and meta blogging going on recently. Way to show them what over analyzing is all about!

    Btw. you just had to pick the weirdest kind of hentai. Demons and tentacles... At least there's no scat right?

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  10. correction on expEndable nature of the salaryman.

    Urm... let's see...

    By stating that the SSS are partially metaphorical to the modern day salaryman in how they are defined by what they hate is assuming that they are regularly and consistently exposed to whatever they dislike, and are assumed and wanted to be - in this case, the demon rape. This is why parallels can't be drawn between demon rape and number crunching - though disliked by both parties, the latter is part of order as determined by the authorities governing over salarymen, while the former is not. The salaryman is defined by his dislikes because he performs them as intended and repeatedly; an event not absolute cannot be a defining trait of theirs, as it is simply an inconsistency in their work. I assume their work is to combat demons, and if such this is what they are meant to do and the demon rape is only a possible instance, thus, an inconsistency.

    So I say, but we all know they are definitely gon' get rap'd >.>

    lol, jk. The only things I take srsly are lolis and touhou.
    That said, am I the only one who noticed >.>?

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  11. @Ningyo
    "That said, am I the only one who noticed >.>?"

    I have to admit, I did read the whole post. My brain just wasn't registering the words. Lol.

    I could, however, remember the number of boobs (or rather pair of boobs) shown in the screenshots after reading through the post once. Blardy miracle I tell you... Lol.

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  12. @ Shin
    I'd rather not get arrested.

    @ Sniffits
    You used to do Porn Tuesdays? Ok, you are the single coolest person ever.

    And is Milk Money that incest/lactating show?

    @ Anna
    Heheh, thanks, but this post really wasn't meant to be taken very seriously =P

    @ Shadow
    "You sir have a talent for BS"

    Of course I do. I am a law student after all.

    @ Blowfish
    Blowjob...cat...what the fuck.

    @ Glo
    Porn has always been an exploration of the human condition.

    @ Blur
    My head is filled with worldly matters. And by that, I mean porn.

    @ Phossil
    Amongst other things.

    @ Baka-Raptor
    Partially. The real culprit are the draconian Japanese censorship laws, which make it hard for the demon rapists to even locate the vagina. Thanks a lot puritans.

    @ GunStray
    Damn straight you will. Porn is after all, at the center of balance in the universe.

    @ Ningyo
    "That said, am I the only one who noticed?"
    Quite possibly. Well done good sir.

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  13. On the subject of P0rn though, I am pretty knowledgable as well, this analytical view of Sexy Sailor Soldier is quite a parody. I look forward to your next review. For really hardcore tentacle though, Inyouchuu is the most recent hit~

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  14. @snark

    Yes, I am a big fan of porn, especially when it comes to watching it with other people. My lesbian friend (before she got a bitchy gf, that is) established porn tuesdays. I was assigned second teusday of every month and made it my mission to bring the most fucked up thing I could find. HAHA memories.

    Also, Milk Money is lactation, but I don't recall incest. It's the one where the boob obessesed kid sleeps with his nanny and her daughter and they end up fighting over him and the nanny batshit insane. Good for those WTF moments.

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  15. Are blogs which review anime deeply truly successful, or are these actually fora? :D

    Hm, so in the finale, do they beat them, or not?

    I watched some demon rape of magical girls anime before, but to be honest, why can't my hentai/ecchi anime have the same quality as modern shows, crisp animation and smoothness? Like Discipline, now that was nice :D

    This show doesn't give me too much incentive to watch it. I rarely watch hentai, so when I do, I'd like the best. You should make a post about the TOP hentai.

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  16. Tentacle rape anime is pretty odd in itself. But it has a real pedigree-- I'm sure you've seen the old ukiyo-e print of the woman getting molested by two giant squid. In case you haven't, enjoy.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dream_of_the_Fisherman's_Wife

    It's a good thing I compulsively highlight text.

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  17. I came here expecting to see a a reply to my comment. I guess I'm the only one left out...

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  18. @ Yi
    Weirdest? Have you seen the kind of fucked up shit that comes out of Japan!? Demonic tentacles are family friendly compared to the really fucked up shit!

    And yeah, sorry for missing your post in my first batch of replies >_<

    @ Wolfheinrich
    Oh god...how hardcore? >_<

    @ Sniffits
    Can we make a trade? All my lesbian friends suck compared to your lesbian friend.

    @ Guy
    Eh, successful or not, it's an untapped market for me!

    And yeah, they beat them in the end, with the power of magical bullshit.

    @ 2D
    lol, I think I remember seeing that print ages ago. Good to know their porn is steeped in history and culture -_-

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  19. You should've mentioned my blog, and my thoughtful reviews. But it's not like I'm drowning in hits. Yi is :D

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  20. @Snark

    If you haven't seen it, it's about on par with Magical Girl Ai; but imho, it even surpassed that level.

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  21. @Snark
    Oh and I forgot to mention that that blowjob giving cat wears a condom on its tail :P
    I wouldnt call the show a hentai though.Just a Mahou Shoujo "parody"

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  22. Too risky for me to read that one at work, even though you probably chose the more covered up screenshots. Those anime boobs are way too big, I can't stand it when they're that ridiculously big. Although I doubt I'm the target audience.

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  23. Hey don't mind me saying but this is actually my favorite hentai out of all I've seen thus far, and I was wondering why can't they continue this series with more sex scenes and those other sexy sailors who appeared and aided nami and chiasto, let them get raped in an awesome way as nami did but let it have more positions and a longer scene. But I ain't care what people say about this, this was and will always be my favorite hentai, keep up the fine work. :D

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  24. Hey don't mind me saying but this is actually my favorite hentai out of all I've seen thus far, and I was wondering why can't they continue this series with more sex scenes and those other sexy sailors who appeared and aided nami and chiasto, let them get raped in an awesome way as nami did but let it have more positions and a longer scene. But I ain't care what people say about this, this was and will always be my favorite hentai, keep up the fine work. :D

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  25. Very nice article, totally what I was looking for.

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