As I had mentioned prior, I wish to expend my anime horizons and have begun a venture into shoujo anime; a most unfamiliar territory.
In my aforementioned post, I had asked you all to vote over what shoujo show for me to watch from start to finish, and Fruits Basket had won out. So today, I, Snark, present to you, my first episode impressions of Fruits Basket!
Ok, from what I could gather from this show, Fruits Basket is the story of the disproportionately manly named Tohru Honda, a homeless, orphan girl with ludicrously large, soulless eyes that suck the life out of all foolish enough to stare into the eternal abyss of her retinas. Also, she's an Ordinary High School Student.
Those eyes...! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THOSE EYES!?
Anyway, the story opens with a close up of Tohru's saucer dishes of ocular despair, as she exits her little tent and gazes up to the sky while talking to herself.
Hello blue sky! I WANT TO EAT YOU!!
After the obligatory info dump to explain to the viewer who she is and why she's in a tent, she decides to walk around the forest for no adequately explored reason. A minute into her little jungle track, Tohru spots a house in the distance.
Figuring that squatting on someone elses' property wasn't rude enough, she decides to approach the house, presumably to break in and steal their stuff.
A house! I must steal from it!
Like taking candy from a baby. Except the baby has furniture. And people living in it. In fact, its not like a baby at all.
As she approached the house however, Tohru notices a bunch of painted rocks. Studying the painted rocks, she ponders for a moment over who the shit would want to waste their time in such a colossally stupid fashion, when said painter of rocks mysteriously appears.
Works of frickkin art.
If I ever met someone who talked to me like that, I'd spray him with mace and run the hell away.
Anyway, it turns out that the house is owned by two cousins; Shigure Sohma, the aforementioned rock painter, and Yuki Sohma, a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy who is the most feminine looking character in the show, and is apparently so girly that he also needs to be voiced by a woman.
Beauty! Thy name is Yuki!
So Tohru meets the lovable duo, and as she and Yuki go to the same school, they decide to walk to school together. Apparently, walking to school with someone is a grave, unforgivable act of deviance in Japan, and a bunch of jaded girls harass Tohru for daring to associate herself with Yuki. Suddenly, Tohru is saved by her friends Arisa and Saki, a gansta chick and a weirdo respectively, and also the coolest characters in the show.
They're just angry at Yuki for being more womanly then them.
Best. Character. Ever.
Not as cool as Arisa, but awesome by association.
Yeah girls, I'd get the hell out too.
After school, Tohru walks home with the beautiful Yuki, when he suddenly tells her an Earth shattering truth; he hates cats.
You hate cats!? You heartless beast!
Yuki's cat hatred revealed, he takes a moment to further dazzle the already stunned Tohru with his beauty, her horrifying eyes sparkling an unearthly glitter at the sight. After that, they go home.
Yuki stares slack jawed, as Tohru's eyes consume his soul and devour yet another victim.
Later in the evening, Yuki and Shigure walk around the forest round their home when they stumble upon Tohru's little tent. Realizing that Tohru is homeless, Shigure does what any decent person would do; laugh at her plight.
It's funny cause she's poor!
...ugh, I'm too lazy to write up the rest of what happens. So let's fast forward a little; a bunch of shit happens and Tohru has to stay in Yuki and Shigures' house. Not like you didn't see that coming.
A roof over your head, for the price of Shigure watching you while you sleep.
Shigure putting on his rape face.
So its the next day, and Yuki shows Tohru her new room from now on. However, as the two were talking, Ichigo from Bleach jumps through the roof and into the room.
Doors are for wusses.
His ludicrously undersized shirt is the source of his POWAH.
Startled by the intruder, Tohru does what any sensible young woman would do in this situation, and gropes Ichigo's manboobs.
Tohru putting on her rape face.
Which promptly turns him into a cat.
Who's king shit now, bitch!?
...yeah.
And then, Yuki and Shigure also turn into animals.
...yeah, I don't even know what to say anymore.
...so that's my write up of Fruits Basket episode 1, which is apparently not only the first shoujo anime I've ever seen, but also the first furry anime I've ever seen as well.
Anyway, for those too lazy to read the whole post, here are my thoughts on it in easy to digest bullet points;
- Furries? What the shit?
- Tohru's eyes! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM!?
- Yuki is beautiful!
- Instead of simply trespassing on peoples' property, Tohru should have opened up a goddamn law book and adversely possess their land.
- Why is this show called Fruits Basket? I have seen neither baskets nor the fruits therein.
- Seriously though, what the hell is wrong with her eyes?
Stare into these eyes, ye mighty, and despair!
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