Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dear Japan - An Open Letter Regarding Inorganic Humanoid Anatomy

Dear Japan,

Please stop it with the robot tits.

As a fan of the super robot genre, I quite unsurprisingly watch many animes featuring fantastically stylistic and over the top giant robots. And whilst super robots have generally being the domain of men, every once in a while a girl decides to strike a blow for feminism and pilot a badass giant robot along with the boys.

This is a good thing.

However, do you really have to outfit your female pilots with robo juggies? I mean, really? Do women really have to scream out to everyone that the pilot insides a chick by riding this:

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:

Do they really fucking have to? I mean, for Christ's sakes! Some of these bots jiggle! THEY FUCKING JIGGLE!

I wish I was making this up.

And honestly now, what the fuck were you guys smoking when you made the following two scenes, and where can I get some?

Yes. Those are robot nipples. Robot. Fucking. Nipples.

The most depressing part is that the pilots were killed by that.

I never thought I'd say this Japan, never in a million years, but here it is; I have had enough fucking tits shoved in my face.

So in closing, until the day that male piloted robots get extending robo dick spears, please refrain from any more robot boobs in future.


  1. Actually, there's a hentai anime which features a mecha with an 'extending robo dick spear'.

    I am not, as they say, making this up.

  2. Sweet lord... that's a very VERY good point.

    Even Kallen's bot has a chest. :|

  3. What?? How could those rockets fit in there??

  4. I assume it's some kind of telescoping chest rocket ^^;

  5. Some like it and some doesn't. Im not those who like it but they look funny to me.

  6. More tits plox. I like robot tits, they usually have laser or in kikaider thy had boomerangs :P

  7. Now that you're talking, I rarely see supposingly male mechas to have dick spears shoving out compared to tits, hahaha.

  8. @ iknight
    ...oh sweet Jesus >_<

    @ Reijin
    It is isn't it?

    Ironically, real robot series tend to be better to women in that regard...in sense; rather then piloting stupid looking robots, they just...die. A lot. >_>

    @ Phossil
    Honestly, I have no fucking idea.

    @ Lightning Sabre
    If the tits aren't rockets, they're cockpits. And if they're neither, then at least they jiggle >_>

    @ Leon
    It's the fact that some people like this that most frightens me >_<

    @ j hicks
    Dude, I'm all for tits. But not for giant robots. Not for giant robots...

    @ Anna
    To be fair, the robots in Zone of the Enders all had dick cockpits.

    ...but then again, so did the female looking robots; they had tits and dicks...

  9. I felt... brain-dead after seeing those pics. Urgh. Isn't normal people's tits good enough!?

    But I don't know about many other people. I was browsing through 4chan's /a/ a few weeks back... and guess what I found. Robot porn. =/

  10. @ Konadora
    Robot porn...

    Oh sweet jesus fuck >_<

  11. What? You're surprised? Rule 34, man. Rule friggin' 34.

    There's probably something about the mecha as an extension of the pilot involved here. Wonder what Gainax would've done if they'd given a female character her own mecha in TTGL?

    Hmm. Shoujo mecha anime. Now what would that be like...I've read that Rayearth has mecha.

  12. @ Izeas
    Actually, there is a female gurren lagann mech. In the scene where the Anti-Spiral talks about all the failed attempts by past spiral races, they show quick flashes of the defeated robots, one of them was essentially the female equivalent of Gurren Lagann.

    If memory serves me right, she had drill tits... >_<