Monday, September 7, 2009

Girl it up! - Fruits Basket #2

So in continuation with my plan to watch a shoujo anime from start to finish,here is my write up of episode 2 of Fruits Basket!

Yuki's hatred of cats is surpassed only by his hatred of rice balls.

So this episode is a direct continuation of the last. Tohru, fearing accusations of bestiality, quickly gathers the three Sohma animals to slaughter them in the backyard and thus get rid of the evidence. Unfortunately, her diabolical plan was foiled by the postman who entered the house just as she was about to run out.

Tohru attempts to slay the three by the power of her eyes alone.

Sadly, even the best laid plans may be thwarted.

Fearing that he'll report her to the authorities if he finds out that she plans to butcher three defenseless animals, Tohru puts on her thinking cap and gives him her most creative and articulate excuse ever;

Sadly, despite the postman realizing something was wrong with this girl, he decided not to pursue the matter any further, as he feared that continued exposure to Tohru's universe engulfing eyes would suck his soul, leaving him a hollow husk of what was once a man.

After the postman wisely leaves, the Sohma boys suddenly turn back into people. Except they're naked. Because if there's anything women like more then one naked, underage boy, its two naked, underage boys.

Tohru scampering for her camera.

Free of furries, the house begins to settle down as Tohru is formally introduced to the catboy, Ichigofrombleach Sohma. The peace is short lived however, as Ichigofrombleach's violent misogyny suddenly compels him to hurl a table at Tohru.

His eyes burn with hate for women.

Eat table woman!

Luckily, Tohru's eyes of darkness do not merely destroy mortal men, but inanimate objects as well; cleaving the table in half, leaving naught but a slight bruise on Tohru's forehead.


Your tables leave naught but a scratch before the might of my eyes!

Yuki, desiring to be the only character in the show who gets to treat women like shit, challenges Ichigofrombleach to a fight, and promptly kicks his ass.

A slap! That most masculine of attacks!

Crotch kick! Another attack most manly.

So after the requisite drama and table breaking, Tohru and Yuki head off to school, where the evil mook squad harass Tohru, and are driven off by her badass friends in a scene that was both 90% recycled and completely pointless.

They're like monsters of the week. Only even lamer.

They even get recycled footage!

Later on, Yuki tells Tohru that he might be forced to erase Tohru's memory, in order to protect his secret identity as a furry. Tohru however, doesn't seem to realize that erasing her memory would be a bit of a dick move, and simply asks Yuki that he continue to be a friend after her memory gets erased.

Yuki putting on his rape face.

Tohru's request then moves Yuki to tears, as he was clearly shocked upon the realization that the girl before him is a colossal dumbshit. Nonetheless, stuff happens and Tohru accidentally touches Yuki, turning him to a mouse again. Tohru then picks little mouse Yuki up to examine his much cuter form;

When suddenly, a horrible realization dawns upon her; Yuki hides a secret far more sinister then mere furrydom;

Oh shit.

So after school, a bunch of other stuff happens with the Sohma brothers putting Tohru to work in the kitchen, cause where that's a woman's place is.

Tohru knows her place!

The next day, Tohru and Yuki go to school again, only this time, Yuki's cousin and arch rival, Ichigofrombleach has enrolled into the same school and is their newest classmate.

Kawaii!! Oh! I know! Do some yaoi! Do it now!

The famous shonen hero that he is, Ichigofrombleach is immediately swamped by adoring fangirls. Tragically however, Ichigofrombleach is once again consumed by his misogyny and violently assaults a woman;

Ichigofrombleach shows how to treat a woman.

It is at this point that Ichigofrombleach's raw woman hating causes him to awake to his spiral power;

His drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens.

And then he jumped out of a window. Yeah, I didn't get that part either.

Tohru discovers her latest fetish.

Anyway, that's it for ep 2. Here's my thoughts in bullet point format;
  • Tohru's eyes could kill!
  • Ichigofrombleach must really, really hate women.
  • I'm presuming Ichigofrombleach's misogyny stems from the fact he constantly gets his ass kicked by Yuki, whose pretty much a chick as it is.
  • No wonder Yuki's so strong, he's the goddamn Sachiel, the 3rd Angel!
  • Tohru's friends are the best characters. She should hook up with one of them instead.
  • The goon squad should also hook up with each other.
  • Still haven't heard any mention of baskets nor the fruits therein.

Best. Plot twist. Ever.


  1. My name is Ichigofrombleach Souma. Bhuahahahaha that shit is fucking hilarious *cackles*

  2. The Marquiz Plague Mask photoshop made me laugh so hard (look up that comic, I also like that style in general).

    I laughed so hard when I read the "Stupid Excuse to Mailman" caption. Stupid Tohru is stupid.

    I think it'd have been better if instead of neutral rat, Yuki had been drawn as "Angry rat", with perpendicular lines for eyebrows, and sharper face. More or less like what you did, just add eyebrows of rage!

    And you have an error, Tohru was in a room with not 2, but 3 naked boys :D Though the third might not be underage..

  3. Seems like this anime does alot of parodies.. :p

  4. Personally, I thought fruits basket sucked immensely. This review, however, was awesome. It seems similar to another Fruits Basket review that I recently read, although I can't remember where I read it. Good stuff.

  5. Oh, I read it here...I was thinking about the episode one review. Wow I'm really dense. (kicks himself in the face). Whatever, I'm the man so it doesn't matter.

  6. Haha, these reviews are funny... Ichigofrombleach Souma. Best Fruits Basket review ever. Are you going to do one for every episode?

  7. Ah, reminds me of the old days. Saw this when I was still in high school. It was pretty good if I recall correctly.

    Didn't this air before Bleach? So it should be the other way around. =X

  8. This is turning out to be the best review everrr! So. Hilarious. "Ichigofrombleach Souma" LOL!
    And don't worry, the explanation for the title of 'Fruits Basket' comes soon ^^ (but don't get too excited, it's pretty lame)

  9. Well, it's not like Bleach has anything to do with bleach. Maybe Ichigofrombleach only appears on shows with irrelevant titles.

  10. I always thought "Bleach" was because Ichigo wiped out Rukia's powers.

  11. You got my sister (who didn't manage to get pass the first episode) laughing and crying with these 2 reviews so far - a job well done mate hahahaha!

  12. the cute mouse Yuki picks up, reminds me of a certain Pokemon.. Lol.

  13. LOL - love the Bleach transformation for Yuki. This has got to be my wife's favorite anime

  14. Man, how long was this anime? I can't remember the last time I touched it...

  15. @ Kluxorious
    lol, thanks XD

    @ Guy
    True, but I'm pretty sure most the fangirls aren't drooling over Shigure.

    @ Blur
    It needs more Bleach

    @ Glo
    Heheh, I haven't quite decided whether Fruits Baskets is good or not, but I'm definitely having a blast reviewing it >=D

    @ Yi
    Yup, gonna review each and every episode to the end ;)

    @ Reltair
    Um...they don't end up killing each other in the end like in School Days, do they?

    @ theTsundere
    Its not an actual baskets with fruits in it, is it? -_-

    @ Baka Raptor
    So should we be suspecting a cameo from Ichigo in Fate/Stay Night?

    @ Q
    Excellent! For I am Snark, he who makes women cry!

    @ Phossil
    No pokemon should be that soul crushingly scary.

    @ Bluedrakon
    Yuki hides many horrifying secrets.

    @ Netto
    I think it was early 2000s

  16. "A slap! That most masculine of attacks!"


    Maybe that slap was an invitation to duel with their fists! Like in the old days when you slap a guy's face with your glove!

  17. The best series for slash fan-ficcers or those who want to imagine yaoi storylines, well, the best one except those which are explicitly yaoi?

    Almost only males, and so much bromance as you wouldn't believe.
    And bishonens. Turns out "The little girl" character is actually a trap. She, heck, I can't think of him as a "he", even called another male, "My beloved..." or some such, heh.
    Ah, looking at wikipedia again, it's officially unknown whether the character is a he or a she.

  18. Furuba has like loads of plushies but I always wonder why they're mostly of onigiri and not fruits.