Girl it up! - Fruits Basket #2

So in continuation with my plan to watch a shoujo anime from start to finish,here is my write up of episode 2 of Fruits Basket!

Yuki's hatred of cats is surpassed only by his hatred of rice balls.

So this episode is a direct continuation of the last. Tohru, fearing accusations of bestiality, quickly gathers the three Sohma animals to slaughter them in the backyard and thus get rid of the evidence. Unfortunately, her diabolical plan was foiled by the postman who entered the house just as she was about to run out.

Tohru attempts to slay the three by the power of her eyes alone.


Sadly, even the best laid plans may be thwarted.

Fearing that he'll report her to the authorities if he finds out that she plans to butcher three defenseless animals, Tohru puts on her thinking cap and gives him her most creative and articulate excuse ever;

Sadly, despite the postman realizing something was wrong with this girl, he decided not to pursue the matter any further, as he feared that continued exposure to Tohru's universe engulfing eyes would suck his soul, leaving him a hollow husk of what was once a man.

After the postman wisely leaves, the Sohma boys suddenly turn back into people. Except they're naked. Because if there's anything women like more then one naked, underage boy, its two naked, underage boys.

Tohru scampering for her camera.

Free of furries, the house begins to settle down as Tohru is formally introduced to the catboy, Ichigofrombleach Sohma. The peace is short lived however, as Ichigofrombleach's violent misogyny suddenly compels him to hurl a table at Tohru.

His eyes burn with hate for women.

Eat table woman!

Luckily, Tohru's eyes of darkness do not merely destroy mortal men, but inanimate objects as well; cleaving the table in half, leaving naught but a slight bruise on Tohru's forehead.

ALL WILL BOW BEFORE HER EYES!


Your tables leave naught but a scratch before the might of my eyes!

Yuki, desiring to be the only character in the show who gets to treat women like shit, challenges Ichigofrombleach to a fight, and promptly kicks his ass.

A slap! That most masculine of attacks!


Crotch kick! Another attack most manly.

So after the requisite drama and table breaking, Tohru and Yuki head off to school, where the evil mook squad harass Tohru, and are driven off by her badass friends in a scene that was both 90% recycled and completely pointless.

They're like monsters of the week. Only even lamer.


They even get recycled footage!

Later on, Yuki tells Tohru that he might be forced to erase Tohru's memory, in order to protect his secret identity as a furry. Tohru however, doesn't seem to realize that erasing her memory would be a bit of a dick move, and simply asks Yuki that he continue to be a friend after her memory gets erased.

Yuki putting on his rape face.

Tohru's request then moves Yuki to tears, as he was clearly shocked upon the realization that the girl before him is a colossal dumbshit. Nonetheless, stuff happens and Tohru accidentally touches Yuki, turning him to a mouse again. Tohru then picks little mouse Yuki up to examine his much cuter form;

When suddenly, a horrible realization dawns upon her; Yuki hides a secret far more sinister then mere furrydom;

Oh shit.

So after school, a bunch of other stuff happens with the Sohma brothers putting Tohru to work in the kitchen, cause where that's a woman's place is.

Tohru knows her place!

The next day, Tohru and Yuki go to school again, only this time, Yuki's cousin and arch rival, Ichigofrombleach has enrolled into the same school and is their newest classmate.

Kawaii!! Oh! I know! Do some yaoi! Do it now!

The famous shonen hero that he is, Ichigofrombleach is immediately swamped by adoring fangirls. Tragically however, Ichigofrombleach is once again consumed by his misogyny and violently assaults a woman;

Ichigofrombleach shows how to treat a woman.

It is at this point that Ichigofrombleach's raw woman hating causes him to awake to his spiral power;

His drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens.

And then he jumped out of a window. Yeah, I didn't get that part either.

Tohru discovers her latest fetish.

Anyway, that's it for ep 2. Here's my thoughts in bullet point format;

• Tohru's eyes could kill!
• Ichigofrombleach must really, really hate women.
• I'm presuming Ichigofrombleach's misogyny stems from the fact he constantly gets his ass kicked by Yuki, whose pretty much a chick as it is.
• No wonder Yuki's so strong, he's the goddamn Sachiel, the 3rd Angel!
  
• Tohru's friends are the best characters. She should hook up with one of them instead.
• The goon squad should also hook up with each other.
  
• Still haven't heard any mention of baskets nor the fruits therein.

Best. Plot twist. Ever.