Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Girl it up! - Fruits Basket #3

Continuing on my master plan to watch a shoujo anime from start to finish, here's my write up of episode 3 of Fruits Basket!

So ep 3 opens up with Yuki scolding Ichigofrombleach for assaulting a woman and jumping out from a window. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Ichigofrombleach is unrepentant, and yells at Yuki for wanting to go to a school with those accursed women.

Boy angst! It is a thing of beauty!

I hate women! HEAR ME ROAR!

Tohru, who was eaves dropping on the two overhears Ichigofrombleach's impassioned tirade against women and becomes so aroused by his misogyny that she leaps out and attempts to rape him.

Never get in the way of a woman and her boytoy.

Sadly, Tohru's touch turns Ichigofrombleach into a cat. Not being into bestiality, Tohru's libido drops to zero.

Yuki however, had never felt so...excited over his cousin.

Nonetheless, Tohru is obviously angered at being left unsatisfied, and unleashes her deadly eyes upon poor Ichigofrombleach, who is so paralyzed with fear that his hair stand on end.

Tohru's latest killer eye technique; Ichigofrombleach was hospitalized for over a month.

Anyway, after the whole ordeal, Ichigofrombleach decides to call it a day and returns to home, seeking the comfort of another man. Far from comforting Ichigofrombleach however, Shigure delivers a cold, cold truth;

It is at this point that Ichigofrombleach reveals he has a fetish for the mentally handicapped;

At school the next day, a girl attempts to get Yuki to reciprocate her affections and leaps into his arms. Catching her, Yuki notices that he hasn't transformed, and comes upon a horrifying truth; that's a dude.

Huh? Why am I still huma-OH SHIT.

In the other room, Ichigofrombleach is hanging out with Tohru and her friends. It was a pretty boring scene, but it's supposedly important to the plot. Also, there's some bullshit about the Chinese Zodiac. Cause the Sohma family are all representative of the Zodiac, or something.

Almost as exciting as a childrens' card game!

Apparently this will be important.

Later, Yuki and Ichigofrombleach get into another boring, poorly animated fight. Cause y'know, the viewer is totally gonna forget that they don't like each other if they don't fight every five minutes.

Yuki kicking Ichigofrombleach's ass!? I NEVER WOULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS!

So after school, Tohru goes to her part time job as a cleaner. Later that night, Yuki picks her up, and after a bit of talking, Tohru 'accidentally' touches him, turning him into a rat. Seriously, we all know this girl just wants to see the boys naked.

He knows where she works, and thus too much. She'll have to kill him.

Um, Mr. Director? I really don't think we can make a serious scene about a contemplative mouse.

Oh yeah, you touched him on 'accident'. We know what you're up to, woman.

As Tohru and Rat-Yuki walk home, they talk a bit more about Yuki's beautiful, angst-ridden angst about how he can never be accepted cause he can turn into a rat. He then explains that he's jealous of Ichigofrombleach because he can be accepted for who he is.

Ichigo enjoying what Yuki's always wanted; being draped in the arms of other men.

Anyway, the episode ends with some boring stuff about feelings and shit. I can't really remember what they were talking about, but it was boring. Oh, and Tohru fantasizes about hot Yuki/Ichigo action. Cause she likes her yaoi incestuous.

This is how I picture my friends too.

That's it for ep 3. For those too lazy to read, here are my thoughts in easy to digest bullet points;
  • Tohru needs to stop wondering about Yuki and Ichigofrombleachs' feelings and realize the truth about men; we don't have feelings, we have sexual urges. And also, we sometimes get hungry.
  • Tohru has more then one killer eye technique.
  • We really don't need a Yuki/Ichigo fight every five minutes to remind us of the fact they hate each other.
  • Still haven't heard any mention of baskets nor the fruits therein.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


  1. I really like the screenshot of the rat casting his long shadow.

  2. ep 3?? How many eps has fruits basket?

  3. These reviews keep getting better and better, I love the Princess Bride Reference.

    Also, Fruits Basket sucked.

  4. My wife fell in love with this anime. She has become a merchandise fanatic with this show.

  5. "Um, Mr. Director? I really don't think we can make a serious scene about a contemplative mouse."
    NOT TRUE! Obviously you need to read The Mouse and the Motorcycle! It's some compelling stuff!

    "realize the truth about men; we don't have feelings, we have sexual urges. And also, we sometimes get hungry."
    It took a long time for me to accept that...but that knowledge makes it all the more easy to control the opposite sex. How do you think I got the guest bedroom painted?

  6. Maybe "Fruits Basket" refers to the viewers.

  7. "It is at this point that Ichigofrombleach reveals he has a fetish for the mentally handicapped"

    Speaking of cripple fucking....

  8. The Fuwk Traps exist in this anime!

  9. That last caption was just the thing I needed to start my day right!

  10. That last quote - I just saw that movie today! Wow.

  11. NO, the series is changing you, Snark! Come back to the light!

    So... are they going to be doing this for the entire series? boy angst, cripple fuck, and incestuous boyfriends?

    Tho I have to admit if that you take those things away you won't have yourself a good shoujo series.

  12. Episode 3 only ... a LOT more to go lol. Will you still be sane afterward? Probably not, I think you're already slipping...

  13. ROFL

    You have more guts/balls than me to take on the mission to go thru watching this anime. I don't/can't.

    So I will support you all the way that you will STILL be sane after completing the series. May the force be with you!

  14. I see that you are now aiming for your target audience by adding that mentally handicapped bit into this review...

  15. Come to the dark side Snark... :p
    You know you want to!

    RofL@review AND comments!

  16. Since Fruits Basket started before Bleach(2 years prior), that means Ichigo is actually Kyofromfuruba and not the other way round. :grin:

  17. Oh, and since you still don't know, you wanna know why its called 'Fruits Basket'?

    Its cos when she was a kid, in her class or nursery they played a game called 'Fruits Basket' where each kid got named a type of fruit, they sit in a circle, one kid stands in the middle and calls a fruit, when that fruit gets up, the one in the middle runs to their seat, and the one who got up has to call out a new fruit, and so on. The long n short of it is, she never got a type of fruit, she was the 'onigiri' and therefore, never called out, and she never joined in. Obviously some deep-set childhood trauma there lol.
    (I'm sure she's already refered the the umeboshi on their backs lol, and the metaphor of everyone being a onigiri with a different type or filling lol.

  18. You'll eventually find out why the anime is called Fruits Basket, and it was actually pretty clever.
    Anyway, once again a really funny review. Keep these coming!

  19. @ Kluxorious
    Only 23 more to go! >_<

    @ Guy
    Well, I'll admit its unintentionally funny =P

    @ Phossil
    26 -_-

    @ Glo
    I am Snark! He whose reviews grow in strength!

    @ Bluedrakon
    Heheh, yeah, you've told me that in every post I've made about Fruits Basket so far =P

    @ Duckie
    You fiend! How dare you use our lust as a weapon against us!?

    @ Baka-Raptors
    You mean...I'm ONE OF THE TOMATOES!?

    @ Lightning Sabre
    Oh sweet fucking christ don't remind me >_<

    @ GunStray
    Traps exist in the most horrible places to find them >_>

    @ Coeli
    I am Snark! A suitable substitute for breakfast!

    @ Reltair
    His name is Inigo Montoya. You killed his father. Prepare to die.

    @ Ningyo
    What? Cripple fucking is a shoujo staple now?

    @ Acesan
    If I fall to the darkside, I want you to kill me.

    @ Anna
    Never let it be forgotten that Snark has MANballs of steel!

    @ Blowfish
    All in an endeavor to gain more lovely readers from google >_<

    @ Blur

    @ Meimi
    Holy shit. That is the shittest game I've ever heard. I now know what to make people do should I ever plan on torturing them.

    @ Yi
    lol, for better or for worse, more reviews are definitely coming =P

  20. Late comment is late!
    But... kya~ more yaoi love! *rofl*

  21. This is too funny ^^
    LAWL at Yuki/Ichigo action. Never realised how much of a pervert Tohru was.
    I think I might re-watch this anime... So many things I didn't notice... although it was torturous enough the first time around.

  22. You should watch these videos I found. They're Furuba videos, and really good:

    you might not like the songs but at least pay close attention to the images.

  23. The first one messed up:

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