Girl it up! - Fruits Basket #3

Continuing on my master plan to watch a shoujo anime from start to finish, here's my write up of episode 3 of Fruits Basket!

So ep 3 opens up with Yuki scolding Ichigofrombleach for assaulting a woman and jumping out from a window. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Ichigofrombleach is unrepentant, and yells at Yuki for wanting to go to a school with those accursed women.

Boy angst! It is a thing of beauty!


I hate women! HEAR ME ROAR!

Tohru, who was eaves dropping on the two overhears Ichigofrombleach's impassioned tirade against women and becomes so aroused by his misogyny that she leaps out and attempts to rape him.

Never get in the way of a woman and her boytoy.

Sadly, Tohru's touch turns Ichigofrombleach into a cat. Not being into bestiality, Tohru's libido drops to zero.

Yuki however, had never felt so...excited over his cousin.

Nonetheless, Tohru is obviously angered at being left unsatisfied, and unleashes her deadly eyes upon poor Ichigofrombleach, who is so paralyzed with fear that his hair stand on end.

Tohru's latest killer eye technique; Ichigofrombleach was hospitalized for over a month.

Anyway, after the whole ordeal, Ichigofrombleach decides to call it a day and returns to home, seeking the comfort of another man. Far from comforting Ichigofrombleach however, Shigure delivers a cold, cold truth;

It is at this point that Ichigofrombleach reveals he has a fetish for the mentally handicapped;

At school the next day, a girl attempts to get Yuki to reciprocate her affections and leaps into his arms. Catching her, Yuki notices that he hasn't transformed, and comes upon a horrifying truth; that's a dude.

Huh? Why am I still huma-OH SHIT.

In the other room, Ichigofrombleach is hanging out with Tohru and her friends. It was a pretty boring scene, but it's supposedly important to the plot. Also, there's some bullshit about the Chinese Zodiac. Cause the Sohma family are all representative of the Zodiac, or something.

Almost as exciting as a childrens' card game!


Apparently this will be important.

Later, Yuki and Ichigofrombleach get into another boring, poorly animated fight. Cause y'know, the viewer is totally gonna forget that they don't like each other if they don't fight every five minutes.

Yuki kicking Ichigofrombleach's ass!? I NEVER WOULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS!

So after school, Tohru goes to her part time job as a cleaner. Later that night, Yuki picks her up, and after a bit of talking, Tohru 'accidentally' touches him, turning him into a rat. Seriously, we all know this girl just wants to see the boys naked.

He knows where she works, and thus too much. She'll have to kill him.


Um, Mr. Director? I really don't think we can make a serious scene about a contemplative mouse.


Oh yeah, you touched him on 'accident'. We know what you're up to, woman.

As Tohru and Rat-Yuki walk home, they talk a bit more about Yuki's beautiful, angst-ridden angst about how he can never be accepted cause he can turn into a rat. He then explains that he's jealous of Ichigofrombleach because he can be accepted for who he is.

Ichigo enjoying what Yuki's always wanted; being draped in the arms of other men.

Anyway, the episode ends with some boring stuff about feelings and shit. I can't really remember what they were talking about, but it was boring. Oh, and Tohru fantasizes about hot Yuki/Ichigo action. Cause she likes her yaoi incestuous.

This is how I picture my friends too.

That's it for ep 3. For those too lazy to read, here are my thoughts in easy to digest bullet points;

• Tohru needs to stop wondering about Yuki and Ichigofrombleachs' feelings and realize the truth about men; we don't have feelings, we have sexual urges. And also, we sometimes get hungry.
• Tohru has more then one killer eye technique.
• We really don't need a Yuki/Ichigo fight every five minutes to remind us of the fact they hate each other.
• Still haven't heard any mention of baskets nor the fruits therein.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.