Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Persona 3 Portable is a piece of shit

Tears over what could have been...

(Beware! Here there be spoilers!)

It is with great sadness and regret that I must utter the following words; I hate Persona 3 Portable.

P3 was one of the greatest RPGs I had ever played, and naturally I assumed that its portable remake would do justice to the game that essentially introduced the Persona series to everyone but the one guy who had even heard of Personas 1 and 2 before 3's release.

However, that was not to be the case.

P3Portable, whilst generally a faithful adaptation of P3, was to feature one significant difference from it's predecessor; the ability to play as the female protagonist.

Naturally this excited me greatly, for in my naivete, I had assumed that by being able to play a girl, I could finally vicariously act out my humongous mancrush on Junpei Iori (the greatest video game character ever conceived) by choosing to pursue a romantic S-Link with him.

However, all my hopes -along with any desire to play P3P- were dashed when I found out that Junpei would not be a romantic option, as it would interrupt the storyline with his girlfriend, Chidori.

Well screw that bitch! It's not like she even alive, let alone still with him by the game's end!

Despite my protestations, Atlus has foolishly decided to deny players the option to romance Junpei, and in doing so, have destroyed any reason for anybody to even touch this stupid game.

Yet, there is consolation to be had, no matter how fleeting. Below are some illustrations of what this game would be like had I been in charge of the S-Links. As you can see, it would have been a much better game, perhaps even perfect. Sadly, it was not to be. But we can still dream my friends, we can dream.