Saturday, November 21, 2009

Why Super Robots are superior to Moe

So I was browsing through the anime bloggosphere when I came across Colony Drop's article on moe. It was a pretty interesting read, but what really caught my attention was the resulting flame war in the comments section.

One thing I noted, was this seeming argument between fans of Manly anime and fans of pedophilic anime, with both accusing the other of shitty tastes for a variety of reasons.

I would like to say that the arguments of both sides are superfluous.

This is not to say that I side with neither one of them; Manly anime is infinitely superior to moe.

However, all the reasons given by it's supporters are ill conceived. The reason why Manly anime is better then moe is so simple, it can be articulated with but a few pictures to illustrate two hypothetical scenarios. So here are the two scenarios, one involving a fan of Manly anime, and one involving a pedophile.

Manly Anime:

Moe Anime:

Anyway, apologies for yet another filler post, I've been having exams for the past two weeks, and literally a day after my last exam, I got hit by a bout of the flu, so as you'd imagine, I'm pretty tired (and still sick). Expect regular posts to return soon, I've got reviews of the Big O and the Girl who leapt through Time coming up, amongst other things.

Friday, November 13, 2009

So I'm finally on this twitter thing...

So after months of procrastinating, I've finally decided to give this twitter thing a shot. So readers, if you're hungry for bite sized micro posts of the non-pedophilic variety, follow my sweet tweets. Also, if any of you have twitter accounts, drop me your username and I'll follow you or add you or whatever the hell it's called.

So yeah, read my tweets. It'll make you a man. This guarantee extends to women; get ready to get yo futa on.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

So I called Japan...

I have accused Japan of pedophilia many, many, many times. And whilst the numerous loli and shota titles that come out of Japan every year seem like irrefutable proof for my accusations, I figured it was only fair that Japan be given a chance to defend itself. And so I decided to give Japan a call...

Friday, November 6, 2009

Critical Eye - Sexy Sailor Soldier

Looking back at the past year, I must profess that Taikutsu Remedy has succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. It is by no means a particularly popular or well known blog, but it still manages much more hits and comments then I would have expected when I first started writing.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Happy though I am however, this is not enough. For you see, I am a whore of the highest order, and a whore always wants more.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Now one thing I've noticed, is that blogs that engage in the intelligent critiquing of anime have been very popular recently. However, I have never written such articles on this blog before, and fans of such have thus remained to me, an untapped market. Nevertheless, as any good whore will tell you, we're willing to do anything for the right price.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
And so with that in mind, I'd like to introduce you to Taikutsu Remedy's newest segment, Critical Eye. Where I, Snark, shall put on my thinking cap and take you on an intellectual, eye opening journey through the infinite complexity of anime!
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
However, as I've mentioned in the past, I am not predisposed to critically analysing anime. In fact, I find the practice rather boring. It was with this in mind, that I realized there was a way to overcome this problem, as well as carving a new niche for myself. And so, I shall bring my full academic prowess into the study of that which I love most. I speak of course, of pornography.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
And so, without further ado, I present to you, Sexy Sailor Soldiers - A Critical Eye.

Sexy Sailor Soldiers is the story of Nami, a big titted waitress who comes across an injured, barely dressed woman, who hands her a mysterious pendent and tells her to, "take her place". From there, Nami awakens to the power of the Sexy Sailor Soldiers, a group of big breasted, scantily clad women, who fight evil demon rapists with the power of boobs.

On the surface, Sexy Sailor Soldiers appears to be an unsophisticated, pornographic take on the sentai genre. A mere excuse to have busty women in colourful uniforms get raped by an assortment of tentacle demons.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
It is only upon deeper analysis that one comes to the realization that Sexy Sailor Soldiers is in fact a metaphor of the tragic existence of the foot soldiers of Japanese capitalism - the salaryman.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Those who have been to Japan or are versed in modern Japanese life will be very familiar with the concept of the salaryman - a veritable army of faceless, anonymous, uniformed soldiers, armed with briefcases and clothed in black and gray suits.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
When Mani transforms into a Sexy Sailor Soldier, her clothes disappear as she dons her Sexy Sailor uniform. And so, like the salaryman who must forsake his individuality for his work outfit, she too must do the same. It is through the uniform that she discards her identity as Mina, and assumes the identity of a Sexy Sailor Soldier.

With that idea in mind, it becomes apparent that Mina's tits are a visual metaphor for individuality. In the beginning of the film, Mina is a new worker at a maid cafe. When the audience is first introduced to her, she is having trouble fitting her huge boobs into her work uniform.

This I believe, is symbolic of Mina's inability to suppress her true self, and to assume the identity of the maid waitress. And in so doing, so draws a comparison to the young, inexperienced salaryman, who lacks the maturity to suppress his individuality and assume the role of the faceless, anonymous, office worker.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
The metaphor continues as Mina stumbles through the cafe, obviously uncomfortable and awkward in her new work clothes. Ultimately, her inability to suppress her individuality during work is manifest by her boobs proving too big for the constraints of her uniform, and bursting out in full view of the customers. Amidst the shock of her tits bouncing around in full view, she further fails in her duty as the dessert she was carrying flies out of her hand.

Thankfully, some measure of disaster is adverted as another, more experienced waitress, Chisato, manages to catch the flying dessert and save it from spilling.

Like Mina, Chisato's incredibly large tits seem far too big for the tight maid outfit. However, unlike her more inexperienced co-worker, Chisato still manages to keep them from bursting out of her uniform. In so doing, she creates a parallel with more older, more experienced, salarymen, who have learnt to suppress themselves and embrace their anonymous existence.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
After Mina's embarrassing debacle, the film skips to some time after work. As Mina walks home, she encounters a wounded Sexy Sailor Soldier, who gives Mina a pendent before disappearing. Eventually, Mina discovers that this pendent allows her to transform into a Sexy Sailor Soldier, giving her the power to fight the evil demon rapists who presumably infest the city.

Before we progress, I'd like to draw attention to the nameless, wounded Sailor, as I believe she is a vital pillar in the metaphor of the Japanese salaryman. She tells Mina to "take her place" before simply vanishing from existence. This, I believe, is a commentary on the expandable nature of the salaryman.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
It is important to note that she has no name, history or defining feature. Her entire existence is defined solely by her being a Sexy Sailor Soldier. The moment she gives her pendent to Mina, she stops being a Sexy Sailor Soldier, and thus becomes Nothing.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Similarly, once Mina becomes a Sexy Sailor Soldier, she becomes the woman before her, with the very same powers and abilities. Skill, experience and history are superfluous; in the world of Sexy Sailor Soldier, Mina and the previous Sailor are interchangeable.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
This expandability of the Sailors is draws obvious comparison to the reality of life as a salaryman. Names, skills, personality and history are meaningless. Before Corporate Japan, all salarymen are mere numbers. One salaryman is equal to the other in every way.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
The finale of the film comes as Mina and Chisato are attacked and subsequently raped by demons. At this point, an interesting contrast becomes apparent.

On one hand, they are being sexually assaulted, they fight and protest as they are being pounded by meaty, demon dick. However, it is at this point where the film reveals the ultimate dichotomy of the Sailor Soldiers; it is the demon rape that defines them as Sexy Sailor Soldiers.

Whilst they have magic powers and revealing outfits, neither of these two provide them with a real purpose and identity. It is only by fighting and getting raped by demons that the true purpose of the Sexy Sailor Soldiers is manifest.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
And so, it is thus that the tragedy of their existence is brought to light. They protest and fight against the demon rapist, yet it is the demon rapists who give them their own identity as Sexy Sailor Soldiers. And this is where the film presents its central thesis as a commentary on the Japanese salaryman; much like the Sailor Soldiers, the Japanese salaryman is defined by that which he hates most.

In exchange for giving up their individuality and performing menial tasks, the salaryman is given a given a wage so that he may continue living. And so he does what he hates so that he may continue to exist. Similarly, the Sexy Sailor Soldiers must continue to fight and get raped, for without rape, they are not Sexy Sailor Soldiers. And if they are not Sexy Sailor Soldiers, they are nothing.
NOTE: This post is a parody. Try not to take it too seriously.
Without menial work, there is no salaryman. Without demon rape, there is no Sexy Sailor Soldier.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Air Master - Review

Given the seemingly never ending stream of uninspired, shitty, pedophilic anime that I am continuously subjected to, it seems wondrous that I continue to deem myself an anime fan. Truth be told, there have been many a time I have wondered to myself if I'd be better off giving up on this self hurting hobby that could possibly get me arrested in some states.

But then, every once in a while, I find an anime so brilliant, so entertaining, so Manly, that it washes away the pedophilic aftertaste of the shows before it and reaffirms all that is good in anime, and reminds me why I love it so much. Air Master, is one such show.

This is what I look like when I watch most crappy anime. Except I'm not a redhead. Or a girl. Or a cartoon character.

Released in 2003, Air Master is the touching story of people getting kicked in the face. Eschewing moe, unrealistically beautiful characters, needlessly drawn out fights and all manner of bullshit that pervades modern anime, Air Master focuses all it's energy on one simple thing; brutal yet beautifully choreographed street fights.

A tale that warms the heart.

One thing that must be kept in mind while watching Air Master however, is that the entire series serves as an elaborate parody, of the fighting genre in particular, and anime in general. The story is paper thin, the reasons for fighting are ridiculous, character's regularly break into long winded speeches on the nature of street fighting, and many characters themselves take common anime cliches and exaggerate them to the point of absurdity.

Violence solves everything. EVERYTHING.

Maki is a street fighter known as the Air Master, because she utilises an aerial fighting style. She then spends 27 episodes kicking people in the face.

Sometimes, she punches.


Aikawa Maki
The main character. A former competitive gymnast, she eventually quit the sport because her sheer build and height had become too great to allow her to continue as a top level competitor. Missing the adrenalin rush of competition, she takes to street fighting. Utilising her skills as a gymnast, she eventually built her reputation as Air Master, an undefeateble street fighter who fights with an acrobatic, aerial combat style.

Maki looking her best.

Maki looking how she normally does.

Nakanotani Mina
One of Maki's friends. Has no real personality. The only things you need to know about her is that she's totally gaybones for Maki, and her boobs are the size of your head.

Reiichi admiring Mina's 'character depth'.

Yuu & Michiru
Two of Maki and Minas' friends. May possibly be a high mind, as they never seem to exert any personality to distinguish the two.

They have different skin tones! They are totally different people!

Inui Renge
A parody of annoying, kid, sidekicks, Renge takes the trope to levels beyond the impossible. Basically only has two states; eating and crying. May possibly be a gremlin.

It is a well known fact that stuffed teddy bears bully children in their spare time.

Sakiyama Kaori
A model and tv personality, Kaori became Maki's self proclaimed rival after Maki and her friends stole the spotlight away from her while she was doing a photoshoot. Completely batshit insane, Kaori makes up for her mediocre fighting ability with sheer force of will. Refers to herself in third person. Easily the funniest and most entertaining character in the show.

Sakiyama Kaori-same demands to be given the spotlight in this screencap.

You can clearly see why she's a model.

Lucha Master
The aptly named master of lucha libre. One of the few characters who can match Maki in aerial combat. Wears a lucha mask EVERYWHERE. Also has a 'battle mask' underneath his everyday mask. A closet otaku. Easily one of the coolest characters in the show.

To be honest, I'd probably cry too.

Sampagita Kai
Lucha Master's younger sister and another practitioner of lucha libre wrestling. Unlike her brother who is a pure lucha wrestler, Kai combines lucha with traditional Japanese pro-wrestling moves. Aside from her brother, she is the only other character able to match Maki in aerial combat.

In one scene, Kai had a flashback of her childhood, where she used to beat up little children while wearing a lucha mask. It was glorious.

Kitaeda Kinjiro
A gang leader from Hokkaido and the show's token gay dude. Kills bears and other assorted animals by punching them. Mainly utilizes fast and powerful punching attacks in fights.

You know you love it.

Yes, yes, you're queer, you're here. WE'VE GOTTEN OVER IT!

An absolute giant of a man and Kinjiro's gay lover .

Yuki doesn't like to talk about her life before the surgery.

Sakamoto Julietta
A creepy pedophile whose obsessed with Maki. An extremely high level fighter who is almost completely immune to pain. Fights using the ancient martial art of rape.

It takes many years of training in the mountains to master the art of rape.

Tokita Shinnosuke
A friend of Maki's who fights with a three sectional staff. Has a massive crush on Maki.

...I can't think of a caption, what do you want from me!? You know what? Screw you!

Mishima Reiichi
The sometimes friend of Maki and co, Reiichi fights by using his bike. That's right, he fights with bike-fu. It's awesome.

You have not lived till you've seen a fight between a guy with a staff and a guy on a bike.


The animation in Air Master can neatly be categorized under two different headings, 'fighting' and 'not fighting'.

The best way to prevent child violence is to teech children to dispense it themselves.

Like Maki herself, the animation comes alive during battle. Fights are fluid, beautifully choreographed, and avoid many of the cost cutting measures seen so often in action anime. Sadly, the screencaps fail to do justice to the fights, so here's a video of one of the early fights to show you just how damn good they look;

Outside of fights however, the animation doesn't fare quite so well. While never horrible to look at, its quite clear what the animation team had to sacrifice in order to have such fantastic fights; animation outside the combat is often jerky, cheap looking and at times glaringly inconsistent. One particularly egregious example would be Renge's pet kitten, which constantly varies in size from an average kitten to that of a goldfish.

So big they have their own noticeable center of gravity.


Air Master is easily one of the most enjoyable animes I've ever seen. Unlike many shows that needlessly complicate themselves with plot and depth, Air Master focuses purely on great fights and delivers in spectacular fashion.

Real life should be like Air Master; we need more kickass warrior lesbians.

Combat is fast, brutal and amazing to look it. One thing I particularly liked is that unlike most action girls in anime, Maki actually looks like a fighter. Whereas most shows feature tiny female fighters who can inexplicably fight people twice their height and many times their body weight, Air Master's lead character is a 6 foot tall, butch amazon who could probably snap you like a twig.

Don't worry Maki, we all love you!

Similarly, the fighting pulls no punches just because some of the combatants are women; fists get bloodied, faces get smashed and oftentimes the loser will be lying in their own sick. Perhaps some viewers might be uncomfortable with this, but I found that in not holding back on the violence for the girls, Air Master was the most egalitarian anime I've seen in a long time.

A punch for equality!

Aside from the fights however, Air Master also delivers in the form of a wickedly devious sense of humour. On the surface, it appears to be little more then a poor pastiche of juvenile toilet humour. The true comedy however, is to be found in how ruthlessly Air Master parodies it's own genre, and anime as a whole.

Where else can you watch a huge schoolgirl fight a Mexican wrestler?

Almost every character serves as a parody of some cliche or archetype. Mina, for example, is essentially the fanservice character gone too far; she has absolutely no personality and has boobs so impossibly huge that one can't help but laugh at them.

God, Renge could induce nightmares.

In similar fashion, the plot itself serves to lampoon the many cliches of the fighting genre. A particularly notable running gag is how needlessly violent most of the characters are. In one of the funniest scenes in the entire series, a character is approached by three prostitutes, who offer their services in exchange for him buying them jewelry. Instead of answering them, he simply kicks them, sending them flying 20 feet away.


Sadly however, despite being very popular in Japan, Air Master didn't receive much traction in the English speaking fandom. From what I've garnered by speaking to other fans, there are two primary reasons; the stupidity of the plot, and the ugliness of the characters.

C'mon! The show's got a raging lesbian! Isn't that enough!?

In regards to the plot, it's meant to be laughable. It is, after all, a parody. Humour is meant to be found in the silliness of a story that should not, in any way, be taken seriously.

No speech about the nature of fighting is complete without an analogy about puppies.

The characters however, are indeed hideous. But given how every other anime features impossibly beautiful people anyway, it can't hurt to at least watch just one show where not everyone could win a beauty pageant.

...she sorta looks cute...kinda...uh...

Air Master deserves a bigger English speaking fandom then it's got. As comedy, it hides a surprisingly intelligent sense of humour behind a childish facade. And yet, despite being a parody, it is also an excellent action anime, with fights that are better then most of the genre it's parodying.

Mina's 'character' in full display.

In closing, you are now obligated to watch this. Take a break from whatever pedophilic moe-fluff your watching and calibrate the Manliness of Air Master. In fact, if you are male, you will no longer be allowed to call yourself a man until you watch this. Similarly, women who don't watch this shall henceforth be referred to by the lesser term of 'wo'. Besides, it can't hurt that Air Master has the coolest ending ever made;