Creo the Crimson Crises - Review

Holy hell it's been a while since I've written anything to do with manga. Anyway, I was surfing round the anime blogosphere a few days ago when I came across Katherine's review of Creo the Crimson Crises.

Sadly, that excuse didn't sit so well with the magistrate.

Generally I'm not really one for romance manga, but this one had lesbians in it, and that sounded like something I might like. So I gave it a shot; and now, having read all available scanlated chapters, I present to you my own review!

It's so romantic!

STORY

Suou is an Ordinary High School Student. Well, sorta; she's pretty ordinary except for the fact that she inadvertently drenches the panties of every woman who even looks at her for no adequately explained reason. Also, most these women try to rape her at some point.

Just another day in Suou's life.

So anyway, one day as Suou is walking around the school, a magical lesbian demon thing named Creo pops out of the school pond (which appears to be a gate to another dimension or something, go figure) and pops a collar on Suou, claiming she now owns her.

What? You don't put collars on your loved ones? What are you, communist?

This obviously doesn't sit well with the lesbian army that are all already fighting each other for a chance at Suou's virginity, so naturally sparks fly. Oh, and there's also some supernatural stuff, but that's not important.

Lesbians - the best kind of rapists.

CHARACTERS

Suou
The main character, sorta. Suou's not really so much a character as she is a prop, who essentially alternates between two states; crying, and getting raped by lesbians. Oh, and she is also Creo's 'Sheravy', which is probably the manga's term for 'magic bitch'. Is possibly the only character who isn't actually gay, as she generally doesn't look like she enjoys getting fingered by pretty much the entire female cast.

Suou speaks the truth.


Suou in her natural state.

Creo
The titular Crimson Crises, whatever that means. Creo is a magical lesbian from the demon world who apparently has some past connections with Suou. She can use special lesbian magic by using Suou as a magical conduit or something, which is why she calls Suou her sheravy. Dresses in mens' cloths for inadequately explored reasons. Later transfers to Suou's school, where she wets the panties of all of Suou's female classmates.

Don't let her smile fool you Suou! All she wants to do is rape you!

Goddammit, why wasn't my highschool so thoroughly filled with lesbians!?

Urara
Suou's best friend, whose concept of friendship includes rape, french kissing and nipple fondling. Obviously doesn't like Creo very much, as she wants to be the first to plow through the Elysian fields of Suou's womanhood. Later sorta befriends Kiki, a lesbian oni.

It's what friends do.


This picture may or may not have been edited.

Kiki
A lesbian oni, which is apparently the demon world equivalent of a country bumpkin. Was on the run from Creo at the start of the story, but later settles into an uneasy truce with her.

Holy jesus shit, that head is huge!

Akane
Suou's sickly older sister. Has a mysterious past with Creo. Is probably a lesbian.

Ok, I lied; Suou is probably a lesbian. And possibly an incestuous one too.

Ridda
Creo's bodyguard or something, and not so secret admirer. Travels to the human world in search of Creo. The gayest member of a cast full of gays.

Wow you're gay.


And just in case you missed it the first 50 times she said it.

Gemini
Creo's magical cat thing. Is probably a lesbian.

Gemini's lesbian harem.

ARTWORK

One of the things that really impressed me about Creo was it's artwork. Simply put, it's beautiful. Backgrounds are detailed, characters are distinctive, and Suou's eyes are big as hell.

Nudity, lesbian rape and Suou's tears - Life is good.

One thing I wasn't too keen on however, were the sheer size of their heads. Now most anime and manga generally have characters with fairly large heads, but Creo sometimes borders on the absurd. Suou and Kiki in particular look like they have heads that are bigger then their torsos.

What foul secrets lie under that skirt!?

OVERVIEW

First, I need to get this out of the way; Creo is gay as hell. I know this is a yuri romance manga, but holy shit these girls are gay and horny! I mean I can understand being open about your sexuality, but all these girls ever seem to want to do is munch every rug in a 100 meter radius!

I had to photoshop a nipple out so that anyone reading this at work won't get into trouble; see what I go through for you people!?

But anyway, back to slightly more serious matters; Creo is a surprisingly fun read. Nothing about its story or characters come across as particularly innovative or original, but they are likable enough nonetheless.

Urara brought out the old dildo.

In fact, what really surprised me was the fact that I even liked Suou. As regular readers of my blog will know, I hate whimpering moeblobs with a passion, and Suou is such a wimpy blob of moe that she makes Asahina Mikuru look positively manly by comparison!

Ah Creo - this manga would be nothing without you!

And yet, instead of abhorring her, I'm rather fond of Suou. Mainly because wherever she goes, lesbian sex is sure to follow; and that makes her alright in my books.

Seriously, where can I get these lesbian classmates? I want them!

Ultimately, Creo does not, and probably was never meant to revolutionize manga storytelling. It is however a fun ride through the tropes and cliches of the romance genre that requires little brain power.

So in a sense, I guess you could call it the romance equivalent to Gao Gai Gar. Except instead of courage, you have lesbians. And instead of hot bloodedness, you have more lesbians. And instead of transforming giant robots, you have transforming robot lesbians. Ok, I lied about that part; robot lesbians don't transform.

This is what I do to my female friends too. In unrelated news, they've recently filled a restraining order on me. I can't imagine why.

COMMENTS AND OBSERVATIONS

For those too lazy to read the review, here are my comments and observations in easy to digest, bullet point form;

• Everyone in this comic is gay as hell.
• Despite observation #1, I want to see them gay it up ever more; I wanna see lesbian orgies on the street!
• The best way to get me to like a moeblob is to make other women want to rape her.
• It would be hilarious if its revealed at the end that Suou is actually straight.
  
• I actually would want to watch an anime about transforming robot lesbians.

Creo the Crimson Crises - where consent is optional.

As an aside, I have a question for my female readers; Creo is serialized by Yuri Hime, which is from what I understand, a manga anthology that primarily targets women. Now from a male perspective, the appeal of sexually aggressive lesbians is pretty obvious. What would the appeal be for you girls?

Incest - Why I hate it and why it should be legal

Whilst I am most definitely an ardent fan, anime culture is nevertheless rife with many weird and wacky things that will forever befuddle and disgusts me, such as moe, tentacle rape and loli. Another source of disgust, and the topic of today's post, is incest.

For reasons I will never understand, there is a buttload of incest, either implied or outright in many anime and manga that I otherwise enjoy. And in response, I must ask -as I do so often-;

WTF Japan?

There are like what, thousands of people that we will meet throughout our lifetime, and none of them are more attractive then our kid sister!? What the hell?? And while I'm on that note, why is the vast majority of incest (or at least, incestuous desire) that I see, between an older male and his underage sister?

Seriously Japan, that's just messed up. Not only can the dude find no one outside his own family, but he's a pedophile as well??? Is everyone in your country restrained with steel chains everytime their in the vicinity of their siblings!?

And so I must once again ask, as I ever do in vain, please please please come up with a fetish that's actually hot. You screwed up with mecha musume, you screwed up with rape, you screwed up with moe and you screwed up with incest. You have hundreds of mangaka and anime directors in your country! Surely but one amongst them can finally come up with a fetish that won't make me feel like punching myself!

That said however, I believe this is now as good a time as any to segue to the other point I wanted to make regarding this lovely topic.

Whilst I am frankly disgusted with the fetishisisation of incest in anime, I do strongly believe that the criminalization of incestuous relationships between consenting adults is wrong.

Before you read further, you should know two things;

a) I am writing this argument from a legal perspective. I can't give a rat's ass about the morality of the issue, what irks me is that the current laws regarding incest are unfair from a legal standpoint.

b) The law I reference is Australian law, particularly in the state of New South Wales. The law in your country may or may not be similar.

As of this writing, incest is illegal in New South Wales, pursuant to s78A of the Crimes Act 1900 (NSW). The statute currently states:

78A Incest

(1) Any person who has sexual intercourse with a close family member who is of or above the age of 16 years is liable to imprisonment for 8 years.

(2) For the purposes of this section, a "close family member" is a parent, son, daughter, sibling (including a half-brother or half-sister), grandparent or grandchild, being such a family member from birth.

So why exactly is this unfair? Because the rationale for this law is inconsistent with other forms of sexual offense laws in Australia. Summarised, the reasoning for s78A comes in two forms; incest is inherently immoral, and incestuous sex produces babies who suffer a higher chance of physical or mental retardation.

In regards to the immorality argument; it is not the role of government to be our moral guardian and to legislate accordingly. Whilst morality is deeply rooted in our legal system, acts are made illegal not because they are 'immoral', but because the act causes actual harm or loss to either the person doing the act, or to another person.

Incest however, as long as it is consensual, causes neither harm nor loss to any of the participating parties.

The second argument, completely fails to rationalize s78A in any conceivable way. s78A as it stands, outlaws the act of incestuous sex, not the results of the act. Put simply, if I were to bang my hypothetical sister, we'd be criminals, regardless of whether a child is borne.

Furthermore, the logical conclusion of the retarded child argument should lead to the outlawing of sex for anyone suffering from retardation, diseases or other negative traits that can be genetically inherited by their children. This is obviously not the case and rightly so. Similarly, incestuous couples should not be held to the double standard of this argument.

In conclusion, there is no reasonable argument as to why incest should be illegal. It is an unfair law that is bigoted and condescending, and should be repealed with all due haste.

This of course doesn't change the fact that I feel like kicking someone in the face everytime I see incest in my anime.

Gainax and Seiji Mizushima team up to create the ultimate angst ridden mind screw anime

Gainax, a studio which my opinions on are well documented on this blog and Seiji Mizushima, director of such happy fluff pieces as Full Metal Alchemist and Mobile Suit Gundam 00 are teaming up to create an anime that will surely be the magnum opus of both parties.

I speak of course of Hanamaru Kindergarten, which will surely be a ground breaking journey into the human psyche. With deep, insightful philosphy instersperced with manly battles of epic proportions.

Below are scans of the manga, which will surely provide us with an accurate representation of what to expect of the coming anime.

Tantric Stripfighter Trina, Volume 1 - Review

I am a fan of many things. And amongst this vast and varied collection of things are martial arts, and tits. Now unlike giant robots and tits, this combination seems to gel a little more smoothly. Ikki Tousen, Battle Club and Tenjou Tenge being amongst many shining examples of this blessed union.

(Though in an ironic twist of fate, I've never liked any of the aforementioned titles)

So a few days ago, I was browsing through the manga section of Kinokuniya, looking for the latest issue of Yozakura Quartet and Sgt. Frog when from the corner of my eye, I spotted an amusingly named title;

Tantric Stripfighter Trina

Or to more accurately represent the font printed on the book;

TANTRIC STRIPFIGHTER TRINA

Now being a lover of cheesy exploitation movies (in addition to tits, giant robots and martial arts), I couldn't pass up on an opportunity to check this shit out, and picked up a copy.

No words I can fathom can describe this manga as accurately as its own blurb, so here it is;

Tantric Stripfighter Trina fights an evil space federation...by taking off one piece at a time!

...

Trina is skilled in Rama's native art of Stripfighting: a tantalizing fusion of Shoulin martial arts and tantric sensuality.

Oh holy fuck.

Unable to resist the obfuscating stupidity radiating from this blurb, I decided to shell out a further $18 in order to have a Tantric Stripfighter to call my own.

STORY

...oh shit. I have to write something here don't I?

Well uh...so there's this girl called Trina, and she dresses like a stripper. And she lives in this planet of stripping martial artists. And they're so engrossed in stripping and fucking each other that they never argue or fight, and so they live in piece.

But then the evil intergalactic government (called the CROWN), teams up with the evil intergalactic Church (called the COG), and they go in and butcher the peaceful, sex loving people. Presumably because they're jealous prudes.

So anyways, because she's the possessor of the invincible shield of main characterness, Trina magically escapes the doomed planet.

From here she travels the galaxy, bent on revenge and beating people up with her bra in the process.

In the future, implants are mandotory.

CHARACTERS

Trina
The epymonious Stripfighter. Seeks to avenge her people. Beats people up with her undergarments. Wears star shaped pasties (I'm betting she'll use them as shurikens in future issues).

The outfit of a vengeful martial artist.

Chrome Abbey
Trina's enthusiastic sidekick. A former bounty hunter, she was literally beaten into an orgasm by Trina, and now seeks to become her apprentice. Presumably so that she can then beat herself into further orgasm. Generally plays the comic relief role, in contrast to Trina's straight man.

Manga's first ever combat-orgasm.

Bonds
Trina's little robot companion. Exists for the sole purposes of providing handy info dumps, and kissing Trina's ass.

Honestly, I'm suprised the robot doesn't have giant tits too.

Titus Braille
Space Spanish Inquisitor. The strong arm of the intergalactic church, The Cog. He blessedly pounds God's love into the skulls of nonbelievers. Ironically has no pupils.

And so the Lord said, "Burn little bitch!" and the little bitch did burn, thus fulfilling the words of scripture.

Aric Terse
Crazy badass martial artist dude. Participated in the killing of Trina's people. Possible rival to Trina in future volumes. Sadly, he does not strip while fighting.

ARTWORK

The art is one of the high points of Stripfighter. Characters are superbly detailed, with even minor badguys having well detailed and unique looks.

Similarly, backgrounds are beautiful and well crafted. Sadly however, most scenes focus on characters with little, if any background visible. But when they are there, they look lovely.

Enjoy the view of these houses, cause there's like three of them in the whole fucking universe.

The art truly comes alive however during the fight scenes. Trina's intricate fighting style is both graceful and brutal, and the artist lovingly articulates this on each and every page.

Ouch.

Some problems with logical progression do pop up every now and then however. At times, characters will mysteriously pop up in a panel, despite all prior panels suggesting that they're no where near the area. Nonetheless, this is both an infrequent and forgivable fault.

Honestly, I'd buy this comic even without the tits. That's how fucking awesome the fights are.

OVERALL

For those of you searching for an intricate storyline in the veins of Ghost in the Shell, or witty humour and dialogue such as in Rosencrantz and Guildernstern are Dead, stay the hell away from Tantric Stripfighter Trina.

And now for my favourite line in the whole volume: "Get your mind in the game! She's not a pleasure slave! She's a Tantric Stripfighter!"

The story is light, the characters predictable, and the world, uninspired. This is a comic for those who enjoy watching big titted characters beat the shit out of people.

To be fair however, the comics writer, Ken Faggio, has hinted in both interviews and his blog, at a desire to develop a more intricate story for Stripfighter. Perhaps we will see a deeper and more developed story and characters in future installments.

Remember girls, the fastest way to get respect in the office is to strip in front of your boss.

Volume 1 however, is simply a 200 page foray into the adventures of a pasty wearing martial artist and her equally busty sidekick. And that's good enough for me.

She was beaten into an orgasm. I can't stress that enough.

Dragon Sisters! Volume 1 Review

So I was walking around the local bookstore with a friend of mine, when I stumbled across the unimaginatively titled Dragon Sisters!.

Picking up the book, I mentioned to my friend how goddamn many manga titles there are with the word 'Dragon' in it. Flipping the book around, I read the blurb, hoping for a little more ammunition with which to make fun of this poor little manga. Oh how that simple action would so dramatically change my life, that the moments prior and post to reading said blurb would be rendered so different as to be almost incompatible.

For on that blurb were six words that I will never forget for as long as I live, "The bouncy and belligerent Lu Bu."

The bouncy and belligerent Lu Bu.

For those of you who don't know who Lu Bu is, he was the greatest warrior of in all of China during the Three Kingdoms era.

Here are some pictures illustrating various other interpretations of what the man looked like.

According to Dragon Sisters!, this man is, "bouncy and belligerent."

Holy fucking shit.

Now being the masochist I am (a fact proven by my watching of Strike Witches from start to finish), I just had to quell my dread curiosity of how this man was turned bouncy and belligerent, and thus bought the first volume of Dragon Sisters!.

Holy fucking shit.

To be honest, I am hesistent to say it's a horrible manga, for that would suggest that Dragon Sisters!'s story made enough coherent sense to be considered a manga, rather then a collection of random pictures.

Nonetheless, I shall endervour to explain the plot; it's basically Romance of the Three Kingdoms with hot warrior sluts.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, it's basically a romanticised version of the Three Kingdoms period in China. I can't be bothered explaining the whole thing, so just look it up wikipedia or some shit. Anyway, for the purposes of this review, I'll be assuming you have some basic knowledge of Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

STORY
Like it's source material, Dragon Sisters! opens with the Yellow Turban Rebellion.

Unlike it's source material, Dragon Sister!'s Yellow Turban leader, Zhang Jiao, decides to use his magic powers to aid his rebellion by turning all the countries' greatest heroes into hot, busty and helpless women.

This backfires spectecularly.

For one thing, not only are the heroes turned to chicks, but Zhang Jiao and his two brothers get turned into flat chested lolis.

And so the evil rebellion led by three 10 year old girls spreads fear and destruction across China, the Empire gets the shit kicked out of it, and they try set up an imperrial army to fight off the little lolis.

Meanwhile, Zhang Fei and Guan Yu (the two chicks in the picture at the top of this post) are in a tavern bitching on about how no one takes them seriously despite the fact that they're awesome warriors cause they've got tits (get used to this, it happens a lot), when they meet Liu Bei, a pathetic dude who sells straw mats but apparently has lofty dreams or some shit.

Having nothing better to do, Zhang Fei and Guan Yu pledge an oath of brother/sisterhood with him and they set up a ragtag bunch of soldiers to join the Imperial army.

From there, the story seems to follow a pretty simple pattern:

1) Zhang Fei and Guan Yu bitch about how no one takes them seriously cause they're chicks.

2) Zhang Fei and Guan Yu save the day by beating the shit out of some poor sob.

3) Everyone realizes that chicks can be just as awesome as dudes as long as they have huge tits and dress like sluts.

4) Rinse and repeat.

CHARACTERS

Zhang Fei
The girl with the shorter hair and backbreakingly huge tits. Has the sluttiest dress and biggest tits, and is thus the strongest cast member so far (the bouncy and belligerent Lu Bu hasn't been introduced to the story yet). Typical rash and impulsive chick.

Guan Yu
The calmer and more controlled counterpart to Zhang Fei. Has the second sluttiest dress, and is thus second best.

Liu Bei
Loser. Apparently has big dreams though. Holds the distinction of being one of the two males who are main characters.

Cao Cao
The other guy with the honour of being a main character. A bit of an asshole.

Xiahou Dun
Cao Cao's one eyed general, has a dress that's about as slutty as Guan Yu, and unsuprisingly seems to be set up to be Yu's rival.

Xiahou Yuan
Cao Cao's general. Has the least slutty outfit and seems to be the weakest warrior so far. Also a bit of a loser.

Dong Zhou
Evil lesbian.

Zhang Jiao
Evil loli leader of the rebellion. Has magic powers.

ARTWORK
Sadly, as I haven't been able to find any scans of Dragon Sisters! online, and have also failed to find the artist's website, I can't show you all any pictures to help you get an idea of what the artwork is like.

Suffice to say however, it's clean and acceptable enough, though fairly uninspired. Also, whilst the characters are distinctive enough, they're not particularly well detailed, the clothing in particular is rather simple looking, especially when compared to works such as Aki Shimizu's Suikoden 3 manga, which features a fairly similar art style, though of a much higher standard.

Ultimately, Dragon Sisters! features nice art, but does nothing to differentiate itself from the many other manga out in the market. Detractors of manga often say that the art style as a whole is boring and uninspired, and Dragon Sisters! would do little to change that opinion. On the plus side however, at least it's not ugly.

OVERVIEW

Whilst Dragon Sisters! doesn't really have anything that stands out, it shouldn't be as bad as I think it is; enough is done well enough that it should be at least an enjoyeble, if forgettable experience. The reason that Dragon Sisters! fails at even that however, is that the comic doesn't know what the hell it wants to be.

Dragon Sisters! is the first publication by nini, who appears to be a relatively new artist in the field, and his/her inexperience definitely shows in several areas.

Most the story serves as a less then subtle aesop about how women can be just as talented as men, and that society should recognize that fact. And that's fair enough, being a feminist, I definitely welcome such a theme. My with this particular aesop however, comes in two forms; it's utter lack of subtlety, and the logical inconsistencies the story suffers from by focusing on this theme.

Firstly, the subtlety. Anyone whose passed literature class back in high school will find the story's heavy handed way of forcing it's central them down your throat to be utterly unbearable. The fact that society denies talented women the chance to use their skills dominates nearly every conversation the characters have; for god's sake! The average IQ of manga readers might not be the highest in the world, but we can appreciate some sort of subtlety!

Secondly, this theme makes no sense in the greater context of the story; Zhang Fei and Guan Yu seem to be the only people in the world who don't get taken seriously because of their gender. Nearly all the generals of note in the Imperial Army are women! Dong Zhou's a woman, Xiahou Dun's a woman, Xiahou Yuan's a woman, Xu Rong's a woman, the only men who are of any importance are Liu Bei and Cao Cao!

Aside from that, the higher echelons of the Imperials seem to be entirely staffed by women! Hell, even the rebal army is led by three loli girls! Just where the fuck is this so called societal bias against women? It seems like women are the only people who can even get a job in ancient China!

And this is the central inconsistency and it's main theme; it's hard to convince the audience that society doesn't take women seriously when they should, when it appears that women are the only people who even get taken seriously.

Furthermore Dragon Sisters! can't seem to decide what it wants to be; an aesop on womens' equality, or a campy fanservice comic about busty chicks in little clothes beathing shit up. Zhang Fei in particular, spends a lot of time bitching about how no one takes her seriously cause she's a woman. Well sorry girl, I think it has more to do with your nigh nonexistent top.

As a reader, I enjoy stories with strong, capable women. However, I also enjoy mindless fanservice. What I don't enjoy however, is this strange mish mash of the two, which only serves to dilute both sides.

Ultimately, Dragon Sisters! was not an enjoyeble read for me. Normally I give mangas (especially those by new authors, as is the case with Dragon Sisters!) up to volume 3 before I decide never to touch them again. Dragon Sisters! however, was an experience so mindbogglingly stale, that I am greatly hesistent to buy volume 2. I may, but I'd probably drive off a cliff before then.

Gurren Gakuen Hen Chapter 2

So the mindblowingly sexy people at AnimeCouncil have just released the second scantalated chapter of the shamelessly camp Gurren Lagann Spinoff, Gurren Gakuen Hen. For those of you unfamiliar with Gurren Gakuen Hen, it's a alternate universe spinoff of Gurren Lagann, where the characters exist in a high school setting.

This is a principal. He does principal things.

Chapter 2 opens a day after the events of the first chapter, first with a hilariously omminous discussion in the principal's room between Lord Genome, headmaster of Teppelin High (our heroes' rival school) and Viral, who apparently is the school bitch or something.

And he had just cleaned those sheets too.

Following which, the scene shifts to Shimon waking up to find a suprisingly little bundle in his bed - Nia. Ignoring the obvious conotations of underaged sex, the scene is typical shonen romantic comedy fair. From Nia's innocence to Shimon's panicked reaction, the concept is nothing new, but the artwork is cute enough for the reader to at least pretend s/he hasn't seen the same situation in like 50 other mangas before.

Kamina approves of Shimon's sexual exploits.

As chapter 1 served to introduce the main characters, chapter 2 focuses on laying the groundwork of the story - introducing the sinister plot, developing the main characters, exploring the setting and introducing the supporting characters.

Yoko's slutty dresses transcend realities.

Because of this focus, nothing much really happens in this chapter. Shimon and Nia do run away from Kittan's gang for some bizarre reason, but aside from that, it really just serves to introduce the reader to the manga's universe.

Yoko banging her head at Dayakka's blatant pedophilia. Seriously, why the fuck do I keep coming across mangas and animes with child fuckers?

I am still unable to decide on whether non-Gurren Lagann fans will be able to enjoy Gurren Gakuen Hen. It is laced with numerous in-jokes that only Gurren Lagann fans will appreciate, however, it also serves as a fairly enjoyeble parody of the high school romance genre, and it is in that fact that the manga might still appeal to those unfamiliar with Gurren Lagann.

No clothes can constrain the Chest of Kittan.

Anyway, there's really nothing more for me to say about chapter 2. It's fun, cute, and you get to see Viral stepped on a couple of times. If you're a Gurren Lagann fan hungry for more, then you could consider checking out Gurren Gakuen Hen. The scanlation group AnimeCouncil is doing the translation that I'm reading, and you'll be able to download a copy from their website.

Like Yoko's clothes, Kamina's epic manliness also transcends realities.