Anime is Unrealistic

Anime is not like real life, and real life is not like anime. This is the sad yet inescapable truth we all live with. And so, with this theme in mind, I'd like to share with you a tragic little story.

Meet Latooni Subota.

She's 14 years old, a gothic lolita and giant robot pilot. Cool, calculated and unemotional, Latooni is as big a real robot pilot as you're going to get. In fact, she's pretty much Rei Ayanami as a goth loli.

Now meet Ryusei Date.

Ryusei here is a rash, hotblooded, incurable super robot otaku and winner of Latooni's girlish heart.

So you might be asking, what exactly is so unrealistic about this? Well, nothing so far. Young, unrequited love is very much a norm of day to day life.

However, this is where fantasy deviates from reality. As we all know, Ryusei is a massive super robot otaku. In fact, he's pretty much me as an anime character. Latooni however is firmly entrenched in the real robot camp. And yet, in spite of this great barrier , look at how crazily hotblooded Latooni is willing to get just to win his love:

And despite Latooni's efforts which would impress even Kamina, Ryusei completely fails to take notice of her!

Ryusei, what the hell???

And this dear readers, is where anime completely divorces itself from reality. Ladies, don't let Ryusei discourage you. If any of you plan on getting me to notice your unrequited love; become a hotblooded mecha pilot. I'll marry you on the spot.

Taikutsu Remedy - The Official Soundtrack

In correspondence with the coming movie about the life and times of Taikutsu Remedy, here is the soundtrack that shall accompany what will surely be the zenith of cinematic creative expression.

We would also like to take this moment to extend our guarantee to you that listening to this soundtrack in full will cause your dick to grow at least two inches. This guarantee also extends to women.

Enjoy.

There. Doesn't your dick feel longer and more powerful already?

As an aside, if anyone is wondering why my post haven't been as lengthy as of late, it's because I'm in the midst of exam week. Today I just finished my advertising and promotions (bullshit) exam, tomorrow I've got property law (Sir William Blackstone is sex), strategic marketing (bullshit with theory) day after, and next week I've got public relations (more bullshit) and law of equity (law for douchbags).

A word of advice; if you want to have any form of life outside the confines of either home or university, stay the hell away from doing a double degree course of law and commerce. In fact, just stay the hell away from law; it's shit.

Now stop reading this and go listen to my soundtrack again. You could use a few more inches.

My Anime Harem - Second Phase

Not too long ago, I listed my five picks for my personal harem. Upon retrospect, five is a rather lonely number, so here are a few more girls to keep each other company.

Noa Izumi
The original five girls were mainly pilots of the super robot variety, so in other to balance it out, I figured another spot should be held by a real robot girl. And you don't get more real then Patlabor, and you don't get more Patlabor then Noa. As a nice bonus, being a police officer, Nod would be able to get us a parking spot pretty much anywhere.

Noa - Making otaku tomboy sexy since 1988

Guian Tees
Easily my favourite minor character in any series (bonus points if you can guess where she's from). Guian shares similarities with Subaru in that neither of them have a giant robot to call their own. She makes up for this however, with the ability to summon giant monsters to do her bidding. Also, she's got a laser sword or some shit.

Oh poor Guian, you were too beautiful for your 5 minutes of total screen time.


As was your monster, with his 20 seconds of screen time.

Kurara Tachibana
The second half of my harems policewomen duo, Kurara is the cocky pilot of the Nova Liger. Also, if my girls ever figure out a way for their bots to combine, we're gonna need someone with experience in piloting giant robot feet.

She also has no qualms with firing her gun, which may or may not be a good thing...

Kusuha Mizuha
After much deliberation, I finally came to the decision that I would go against principle and allow a shy, moe moe girl a spot on my harem. There are however, visual clues in her picture that may hint as to my reasoning for her inclusion, though I expect only the most observant of you to pick it up...

Now if only there was a giant hand that could point us towards the aforementioned clue...

This is how Real Men fight

And it is beautiful.

My Anime Harem

Generally, I'm not a fan of harem anime; I find them to be sexist, wish fulfillment fantasy. Also, the girls I like never win.

That said however, whilst I don't like harem animes, I am quite fine with the double standard of enjoying the company of a harem of cute anime girls myself, so without further ado, my anime harem:

Takaya Noriko
The 'main girl', Noriko is pretty much the grandmommy of female super robot pilots. Takes hot blooded yelling to such ridiculous extremes that even relatively silly attacks such as shooting missiles out of your fingers or hitting a baseball at an enemy seem awesome.

BUSTER HOMERUN!!!

She also has a tendency to rip her shirt off, which is definitely a bonus.

Katina Tarask
The 'rival' to the main girl. Katina is another crazy hotblooded mech pilot who essentially has only a single emotion; anger. Given how hotblooded both she and Noriko are, it was a tough pick choosing between them; but let's face facts, Noriko's Gunbuster kicks the living shits out of Katina's Gespenst.

Awesome woman was let down by a less then awesome mech.

Viola
The mature, oneesan character; Viola possesses darker, more contemplative qualities to contrast her more hotblooded and genki counterparts. Also she can be revived as an A.I should she ever get killed, which I guess can be pretty handy.

Who cares if she can't get pregnant? She's got a giant robot!

Ibis Douglas
The token flatchested girl. Hides behind a quiet and contemplative facade, but is actually just as hotblooded as Noriko and Katina; just watch her let loose on a missile massacre or a Gespenst kick!

One day, you too shall have a rack. Believe in me, who believes in your tits!

Nakajima Subaru
The more observant of you will notice that there's something...different about Subaru. I speak of course about the fact that she does not pilot a giant robot. That said however, I'm pretty sure we could borrow GaoGaiGar for her; GAR though he may be, Gai knows it ain't a good idea to fuck around when Gunbuster, Gespenst, Nephtis and Hyperion all rock up on your doorstep asking for stuff.

BROKEN MAGNU- Uh, I mean DIVINE BUSTER!