Gurren Gakuen Hen Chapter 2

So the mindblowingly sexy people at AnimeCouncil have just released the second scantalated chapter of the shamelessly camp Gurren Lagann Spinoff, Gurren Gakuen Hen. For those of you unfamiliar with Gurren Gakuen Hen, it's a alternate universe spinoff of Gurren Lagann, where the characters exist in a high school setting.

This is a principal. He does principal things.

Chapter 2 opens a day after the events of the first chapter, first with a hilariously omminous discussion in the principal's room between Lord Genome, headmaster of Teppelin High (our heroes' rival school) and Viral, who apparently is the school bitch or something.

And he had just cleaned those sheets too.

Following which, the scene shifts to Shimon waking up to find a suprisingly little bundle in his bed - Nia. Ignoring the obvious conotations of underaged sex, the scene is typical shonen romantic comedy fair. From Nia's innocence to Shimon's panicked reaction, the concept is nothing new, but the artwork is cute enough for the reader to at least pretend s/he hasn't seen the same situation in like 50 other mangas before.

Kamina approves of Shimon's sexual exploits.

As chapter 1 served to introduce the main characters, chapter 2 focuses on laying the groundwork of the story - introducing the sinister plot, developing the main characters, exploring the setting and introducing the supporting characters.

Yoko's slutty dresses transcend realities.

Because of this focus, nothing much really happens in this chapter. Shimon and Nia do run away from Kittan's gang for some bizarre reason, but aside from that, it really just serves to introduce the reader to the manga's universe.

Yoko banging her head at Dayakka's blatant pedophilia. Seriously, why the fuck do I keep coming across mangas and animes with child fuckers?

I am still unable to decide on whether non-Gurren Lagann fans will be able to enjoy Gurren Gakuen Hen. It is laced with numerous in-jokes that only Gurren Lagann fans will appreciate, however, it also serves as a fairly enjoyeble parody of the high school romance genre, and it is in that fact that the manga might still appeal to those unfamiliar with Gurren Lagann.

No clothes can constrain the Chest of Kittan.

Anyway, there's really nothing more for me to say about chapter 2. It's fun, cute, and you get to see Viral stepped on a couple of times. If you're a Gurren Lagann fan hungry for more, then you could consider checking out Gurren Gakuen Hen. The scanlation group AnimeCouncil is doing the translation that I'm reading, and you'll be able to download a copy from their website.

Like Yoko's clothes, Kamina's epic manliness also transcends realities.

Holy fucking shit! Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann!

That box...c-could it be!?

Holy fucking shit! It's breaking out!!

TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN!!!!

So as you can see, revoltech Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann arrived in the mail today. To say I'm excited to finally own this guy would be an understatement as great as saying that the internet is kinda big.

Fear his phalic weaponry.

For those of you who do not know what Revoltechs are, they are PVC based figures made by Kaiyado. Known for their iconic revoltech joints, they allow for very high levels of articulation, allowing for freedom in posing them, and stability in keeping said poses.

However, if you do not know what Gurren Lagann is, please either watch it now, or shoot yourself in your reproductive organs.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, sitting on Eva-01 while Rei admires his drill and Starscream sucks his giant robot balls.

TTGL features 14 revoltech joints, that being in his neck, shoulders, elbows, stomach, pelvis, knees, ankles and his awesome green fire things.

In comparison to other Revoltech figures, he features a similar number of joints to most of the later figures, theoratically shares the same high levels of posebility.

In addition to being a galaxy shattering, God killing badass, he's also good with children.

However, this is not the case with TTGL. Whilst he enjoys large numbers of points of articulation, he has an incredibly complex design, which at times limits his posebility. This is especially prevelant with his arms, as the sharp spikey parts potruding from them often clash with the green flames on his back.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann conclusively proves which is the best Gainax series.

In contrast to other Revoltech figures, TTGL is less poseble due to his complex design. However, Kaiyado makes up for this with quite possibly the best detailing out of any Revoltech figure I've seen. Put quite simply; TTGL looks cock suckingly good.

From the tiny eyes of each individual face that makes him up, to the immaculate paintjob despite the fine details of the figure, this is a model of the highest quality.

Fuck you Shinji!

This however, puts TTGL in a rather awkward situation; Revoltech figures are meant to be played with. Yet here we have a figure which suffers from difficult posebility, but with a very high level of detail.

After a long day of fucking up anyone stupid enough to have the audacity to even think of pissing him off, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann likes to enjoy a refreshing bite of ice cream. Galaxy sized ice cream.

However, there are few other models of TTGL, let alone any as affordable as this one (retailing at roughly $24). The only other TTGL figure I know of is a resin kit that is quite frankly, ballbustingly expensive.

For that reason alone, this should be the TTGL to get for all you Gurren Lagann fans out there.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, making Rei's panties wet.

For fans of poseble figures, you might want to think about it a little harder. Despite being a Revoltech figure, TTGL isn't the beacon of posebility, and it's top heaviness makes it difficult to balance.

Nontheless, it's a fun figure to have, and should you ultimately decide not to buy it, I advise you at least to beat up whatever kid you know who has one and steal his.

The American Nuclear Family

Note:
For any of you thinking I have some fucked up TTGL/Ayanami Rei fetish, I do not. It's just that Rei's the only female figure I have; the rest are robots, and I'm pretty sure you'd rather I didn't have a picture of TTGL drenching Optimus Prime's panties.

A new era.

An American.

When I first started this blog, I promised myself to keep politics out of it.

As it would seem, I suck at keeping promises to myself.

Nonetheless, I'm sure you all know that Barack Hussein Obama is President Elect of the United States.

I am crying manly tears of joy.

For the first time in years, I think I can look forward to what the future has to offer us.

Enjoyeble Ass...?

Ass - Enjoy it

Amongst my vast and varried arsenel of blogging tools is Google Analytics, which I use to keep track of visits to my blog, and most importantly; find out if anyone actually reads this shit.

Anyway, I decided to look at where most visits were coming from, and unsuprisingly they came from blogging referrel sites. However, few hits ever came from google searches, though one in particular stood out; a single hit, from the seach, "Enjoyeble Ass".

Enjoyeble Ass.

I kid you not.

I can only imagine what the fuck enjoyeble ass is. But more importantly, what the bleeding shits does it have to do with a blog about anime???

Who the hell decided to look up enjoyeble ass in the first place? And for what demented reason did he see Taikutsu Remedy and think to himself, "Ah! This ass looks quite enjoyeble!"?

Perhaps if we gathered a conclave of the 20 most brilliant minds in human history, they might be able to work out a connection, so complex that it would melt a lesser mind in trying to comprehend it's magnificence. I however, must simply stare in bewilderment.

I would write more, but quite frankly, my mind has been so wrecked in trying to figure this out, that language and all other forms of communication fail me.

So in closing, always remember; enjoy ass.

Immortal Rain Review

On rare occasions, I find a work of fiction so thoroughly enjoyeble, that as I think of ways to pick it apart and poke fun at it, I can't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Similar to kicking a puppy I would imagine. Kaori Ozaki's tragically underated foray into the world of shoujo fantasy/action is one such gem.

Sappy shoujo shit. Now with scythes. SCYTHES!

STORY:

Immortal Rain (known as Meteor Methuselah in Japan) tells the story of Machika Balfatin, a spunky young bounty hunter following in her grandfather's footsteps. Balfatin Senior, otherwise known as Zol, was a legendary bounty hunter who despite his skill, failed to catch the legendary immortal, Methuselah. Machika thus takes it upon herself to carry her grandfather's legecy and accomplish the one thing he could not; a feat she accomplishes pretty quickly, as she meets said immortal in the opening pages of the first book.

Run Lola. Run.

Now if this was some uninspired post-Dragonball shounen dribble, Machika and Methuselah would spend the next 50 pages powering up and screaming. But this is shoujo baby! And in shoujo, the one rule of the universe is that girls fall in love with tall, mysterious bishounen. And to sum up two books worth of character development, Machika develops a fascination (later love, awwwww) over Rain (Methuselah's real name) and starts following him around. Action, adventure, and soppy love scenes ensue.

For the most part, the love between Machika and Rain is well executed and kinda sweet. There's just one problem though; he's a 624 year old immortal, and she's fucking 15. I don't care how cute a couple they make, it's fucking wrong when the man you're bedding is old enough to be your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather.

No this is not sweet you stupid fangirl. It's pedophilia.

Whilst the romance is the focus of the story, it takes place in a backdrop of a post apocalyptic world, with a dastardly plot to revive ancient biological weapons in the mix. Also, this huge jerkass named Yuca is trying to destroy the world. To make matters worse, the fucker won't stay dead as he's trapped in the eternal cycle of rebirth.

One of the strengths of Immortal Rain's story is the constant presence of the antagonists. One problem I've had with a lot of fantasy and action manga is that the Evil Council of Doom never seems to actually do anything except sit around a table in a poorly lit room while gloating over how smoothly their supposed plan is proceeding.

Like Team Rocket. But badass.

You can rest assured that none of that shit happens here. The baddies are in your face and present. They are always just one step behind the heroes and will gleefully ruin their day. And not just the faceless generic mooks or one shot villains of the week. No. Big, named baddies are everpresent threats, which creates a gripping feel of suspense, which is sadly lacking in many manga.

CHARACTERS:

Machika Balfatin
The main heroine. A spunky scythe wielding assassin in a cute dress. In love with an ageless pedophile.

Yin-Yang motifs are in this Spring.

Rain Jewlitt
The main hero. The legendary 600 year old immortal that everyone wants to capture to learn the secret of his immortality. Like all bishounen, has a tragic past and doesn't want people to get close to him, for fear of hurting them. Is a pedophile. Goh would be proud.

Gaze into his well toned chest and flowing blonde hair! Oh beauty! Thy name is Jewlitt!

Yuca Collabel
A former friend of Rain. Is continously reborn, but retains all memory of his past life. This has made him an angsty little bastard, and he wants to end all life to escape the cycle of rebirth.

Don't let the bishounen tears fool you. If you see this guy on the street, rip his fucking balls off.

Sharem
One of the main antagonists. The vice president of Calvaria, but she is the one who calls the shots in the company. By the way, did we mention that said company is an evil organization that is dedicated to unearthing ancient weapons? Because they are.

Sharem tragically forgot that eating the brain only lets you steal their powers, not lineage.

Sharem's Husband
Sharem's husband, the most whipped man in the history of marriage.

Can you say whipped? Whipped.

Dora Folk
A mad scientist with a stupid last name who works for Calvaria. Is pretty much batshit insane, and one of the most dangerous adversaries Machika and Rain encounter. Also, the bastard never gives up.

This is a scientist. He does science things.

ARTWORK

The artwork of Immortal Rain is rather pretty. Ozaki is obviously a character artist, and her characters are expressive and well drawn. Furthermore, Ozaki has considerable control over difficult angles and posses, as evidenced by some of Machika's elaborate and atheletic kick attacks.

Like countless other manga, expect to see a lot of pretentious religious imagery. Seriously, why is it so common? Does someone get off this shit?

However, the quality of her backgrounds are average at best, and fail to really display any real character. Thus they appear bland and uninspired, which may be forgivable in close up shots focusing on the character, but are rather offputting in wide angle views of whatever location they are in.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

Conclusion

Reading over my review, I fear I may have come across as more negative then I had intended. If so, I would like to remedy this now; Immortal Rain is a thoroughly splendid experience. It's story is gripping, and it's characters interesting. It is not perfection incarnate, and it has it's failings. However, it is still definitely one of the better mangas in it's genre.

Seriously Japan. What. The. Fuck.

Personally, the one greatest sore point for me was Machika's age. Was it really that hard to just add three years to her and make her 18? It'll still be kinda disgusting, but at least it'd be legal. I mean, part of the story is how Machika matures, but it really doesn't serve the plot in any way for her to be that young. This was an otherwise well written love story, spoiled by the fact that Rain is a pedophile so epic, that even Godannar's heroic pedo Goh would be impressed.

Being swung around by sweaty men and thrust into the still warm bowels of other sweaty men. Exactly how I want to live my life.

If you hungry for a break from the uninspired trash that populates the fantasy adventure genre, Immortal Rain might well be your title. The story doesn't really break ground, but it's excellence lies in it's execution, which is poignent, gripping and well paced. It is licensed by Tokyopop, so please try to support the author and buy yourself a copy.

On that note however, good luck with actually finding yourself a copy. I seriously have no idea where to even buy this fucker, and have had to search high and low and gather up the seven issues I currently have. Seriously, if anyone knows where the fuck I can find this round Sydney, I will love you forever...or at least for 30 minutes.

15 year old tits. Goh is fighting the biggest erection of his life.

Something is rotton in the state of Jiiha

Look at the picture above. Something is wrong with it.

Can you tell me what it is?

The less perceptive amongst you might have said that Kamina is a woman. No. That is not what is wrong with this picture.

For generations, fans have drawn their favourite characters in the opposite gender, presumebly to satisfy some strange sexual fantasies.

No, this is a far more fundamental breach of universal laws;

Girl Kamina is hot.

Kamina is the manliest man in the history of manhood. This is a man so manly, that any other man in a 5 kilometre radius of him will instantly turn into women, so that the universe wouldn't be completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of masculinity and implode into a new point of singularity, specifically at where Kamina stood.

So then, the ultimate question must be asked; why is this finest specimen of manhood, this Hercules made flesh, this shining piller of what it is to have a penis between one's legs, so utterly and completely desireble as a woman?

I realize that other characters have often been feminized, and quite effectively too. However, most anime males are feminine looking girly men who probably already more developed mammary glands then they do prostates. For them, the transition is not so bizarre, some might even find it rather natural.

In Kamina's case however, he is such a walking definition of 'Man' that not even the sight of a hundred Hulk Hogans in evening gowns would be a suitable real life equivalant to this defiance of natural order.

And yet, despite all this, if I was a cartoon character, I would totally bone Girl Kamina.

My mind is blown.

Godannar - First Impressions

So I found the Godannar boxset going for $45, which is a fair bit cheaper then most boxsets they sell round Sydney. Being a bit of a super robot fan, I quite gleefully picked it up, despite being fairly skepticle about the series in general.

Anyway, I've watched the first five episodes of the series, and whilst I've enjoyed it, I can't say that I've really been blown away or anything just yet.

Story

The story is fairly basic; in the future, funky alien things attack earth for reasons and Goh, a heroic robot pilot with a huge chin, and a few other pilots fight them off with their zany robots. The battle is eventually won, and five peaceful years past. Suddenly, the alien dudes are back and pissed, and now Goh and his new wife Anna, have to save the day once again.

Characters

Saruwatari Goh
The main character who defeated the alien menace five years ago and saviour of all mankind. Has a huge chin. Married to a minor. Is a pedophile.

The face of the worlds' most heroic pedophile.

Aoi Anna
The heroine. A 17 year old schoolgirl who is married to the 29 year old Goh. Has kept her marriage a secret to her friends, presumably so they won't call the cops on her husband.

Anna's clothes seem as if they were designed to rip easily

Saruwatari Shinobu
Goh's younger brother. Bit of a wuss, but at least he's into girls his age.

This man wants to screw his sister in law. He is the least fucked up member of the family.

Fujimura Shizuru
Cold and serious. She seems to be the long distance specialist of the team.

I didn't take a screencap of Shizuru. But if you'd like a description, she's got long black hair, and like every other woman in the Godannar universe, backbreakingly huge boobs.

Aoi Kiriko
Anna's incredibly slutty mother. Is the brains of the joint. Keeps things in between her tits.

Where all self respecting scientists keep their mobile phones.

Robots

What would a super robot anime be without robots? Well, Godannar has them in spades. Aside from the titular Godannar, there are a whole host of robots, most of them with brightly coloured paintjobs and gimicky attacks, as is gospel in the super robot genre.

Combining is a big feature in Godannar, and most robots are generally the combined form of two vehicles, or smaller robots. Generally, they look pretty good, and the combination scenes are well animated, though the stock footage gets a little tiring after a while.

Volspina, a robot whose combination sequence is so epic, it's breast grow to double their original size. Also, they jiggle. They frickin jiggle.

Godannar, the titular robot, is the combination of Goh's Dannar and Anna's Neo Okusear. Being the main bot, it's the one that gets the most screentime, which is kinda disappointing since Godannar, whilst not being particularly bad to look at, doesn't quite seem as inspired as the designs of some of the supporting robots.

Godannars always had a bit of a problem with stutering.

As with all super robot shows, a good super robot needs its signature finishing move, and Godannar's is a two part affair. It's first is the multiple meaningly named Heart Breaker, which is a explosive punch which somehow turns the monsters white. This is followed by the less cool sounding Soul Breaker, which is a jumping kick, akin to the type you see in Japanese henshin shows.

The attacks are pretty cool, and work well within the super robot format. However, they are hardly the best finishing moves I've seen in a robot anime, Gurren Lagann's Giga Drill Breaker still sets the benchmark for me, and Godannar, whilst good, has yet to show an attack that can reach that level of epic. However, I've only seen up to episode 5, so hopefully Godannar still has a few moves up it's sleeve.

Overview

Godannar is hardly a deep and moving insight into the human condition. It is a super robot anime, and embraces all the cliches and tropes of the genre; hot blooded pilots, brightly coloured robots, over the top attacks, and shameless fanservice are all the order of the day here. Oh, also, the main character is a pedophile. Which is sorta of fresh I guess...at least for an anime that isn't hentai.

This is a mechanic. She does mechanic things.

There is a suprisingly large cast of characters, though most of them lack any significant characterisation to ever propel them beyond the realm of background cast. Aside from Goh and his underaged wife Anna, there's the couples' immediate family, the staff at the base, the other robot pilots, and a newly introduced 12 year old girl, whose just joined Goh and Anna's household, and is no doubt already testing poor Goh's marriage vows.

His pedophilia knows no bounds.

Being a super robot anime done in the style of old classics such as Mazinger and Getter Robo, Godannar strives to be a whirlwind of mindless fun in an industry saturated with post Evangelion copycats. And in this regard, it succeeds. Goh's child lusting aside, the fights are fun, the characters are pretty to look at, the fanservice is shameless, and the theme song is quite possibly the greatest theme song of all time. With lyrics such as, "Burst into flames! Bam! Bam! Heart Breaker! Clang-ca-clang!" you know this is going to be a fun ride.

This is also a mechanic. She also does mechanic things.

The target audience of Godannar is unashamebly male. I for one, had to strongly suppress any feminist beliefs and opinions to even get through the opening credits. Most of it is fanservicey in nature, which I guess isn't all that bad, however, there is the far more concerning nature of gender roles as shown in Godannar.

After years of studying womens' breast. Japanese scientist have perfected their masterpiece.

Anna, in both marital life and in as a robot pilot, plays a clearly supporting role to Goh's far more dominant one. This should already be obvious given Gohdannar's name is a combination of Goh's own name, and the name of his robot, Dannar, no mention is even given to Anna or the Neo Okusear.

Similarly, the Neo Okusear is obviously designed as a support robot, meant to aid the Dannar but never to steal the spotlight. Even Anna's mother Kiriko mentions that Neo Okusear is weaker then Dannar.

Now I know Japan has a very traditional view on gender roles, and that a lot of anime expouse these societal expections, and Godannar is no different in that regard. However, that doesn't make it any less disconcerting.

The anime constantly mentions how talented she is as a pilot, yet Goh is the one who always takes charge, leaving Anna not much to do but just look pretty. Similarly, Goh has a tendency to scold Anna as if she were a child (to be fair however, she is. Which brings a whole host of other problems), further solidifying the inequality between the couple.

Perhaps I'm simply overeacting and actively searching for fault to critisize the show over. Nonetheless, I found Godannar's potrayal of gender roles to be offputting and tasteless. This however isn't going to stop me from watching it, though I've been tempted several times to just fast forward to the next battle every time Goh's giant chin pops up.

Robot posse.

In closing, Godannar doesn't seem like too bad a show. Its no masterpiece, and as I've made clear, I find the gender roles displayed in the show to be objectionable. Nonetheless, as a super robot anime, its a fun though by the books number. I'll watch it to the end, though I don't think I'll be raving about it the same way I've been since I finished Gurren Lagann.

Please don't judge him too harshly. It's just that women are easier to please before they hit puberty.